Silence can say more than a thousand words.

Silence can say more than a thousand words.

This day shall unite us all about this unbelievable painful & shocking event and show some respect and love to those who lost their loved ones.

On April 30th 2007, the Blogosphere will hold a One-Day Blog Silence in honor of the victims at Virginia Tech. More then 30 died at the US college massacre.

But it´s not only about them. Many bloggers have responded and asked about all the other victims of our world. All the people who die every day. What about them?

This day can be a symbol of support to all the victims of our world!

All you have to do is spread the word about it and post the graphic on your blog on 30th April 2007. No words and no comments. Just respect, reflect and empathy.

Screaming in my Sleep

First, I can assure you, this had nothing to do with lizards. Secondly, I'm now wondering if screaming in my sleep is my only outlet to all the stifled ones throughout day to day life? Could be! You know the motto around here by heart, if only I was musically inclined & could set it to song: "In this house, anything's possible!" Actually, I had a very disturbing dream which I can only remember bits of, which sound utterly hysterical in daylight with a cognitive mind. But hey, we're here for a laugh & an insight into life of some sort so I vow not to hide a thing. In my dream, some supernatural thing appeared through thin air, teamed up with Superman's nemesis trying to scare & hurt me.

Maintaining long-term memory, at least somewhat, at the completely unwilling sacrifice of short-term memory (fibromyalgia brain fog curse you I say!) brought me to remembrance of many hours spent in my home town library as a pre-teen obsessed with the study of dream analysis. This coupled with the agonizing worry over stupid minutia, such as yesterday's previous post: Beau's name actually being spelled "Bo". If you haven't noticed by now, I interrupt myself a lot. Anyway, back to the dream.

I now can clearly see, in my theory at least, that my dream was due to considering changing my avatar in a cyber-cafe to Super-Kitty, my nickname has always been Kat. Super-kitty's red cape - superman - trying to help people. I've also lately been dealing with a few on-line friends whom have been victims of threats. These are lovely women who have been through a lot. They have been physically abused in the past & have many health issues, my problems are trivial compared to theirs. These women rarely leave the house, due in part to health issues & in part because once a woman is a victim of abuse it is very difficult to ever feel safe anywhere. So, when one finds an outlet within the four walls of one's own home which allows one to connect with others ( all hail the Internet) it is wonderful. To then be verbally assaulted in an on-line forum has lingering effects.

On to sillier things! This morning as I dropped off 2 of my boys at school & a 3rd at childcare I took a moment to praise God for my good friend duct tape! What a true God-send that my mom-mobile's interior upholstery is almost the same color as duct tape, which I've had to use to repair a few gouges in the seats from too much wear & tear.

Hubby has officially won one! Carbonized bamboo flooring is very pretty. He assures me (since he doesn't read this I can say this-I take his assurance on this matter with a Giant grain of salt) that replacing our old hard wood floors with carbonized bamboo will be cheaper than trying to refinish the current floors. Picture, if you will, hubby with cheesecake & beer, a party hat, streamers about, doing the "woo-hoo it's my birthday, drive the bus victory dance". I've learned through having many children & through marriage, to choose my battles. I'll give him this one. After all, it isn't like we can afford a lotto ticket, nor are we lucky enough to pick a winner, to be able to do any of this anyway. So, it is a bit of a moot point. Yea for hubby & his victory, let's not diminish it in the least. Insert an enthusiastic & resounding "woo-hoo!" here.

So, this morning hubby was at work & kids were at school. Silence is SO comforting (!), like a fleece blanket softly dropping down on me. It wraps me in serenity & adds to the warmth of my bed which I had dedicated this morning to returning to. I didn't know I would inadvertently extend morning quite a bit past noon. Thankfully, for some reason, hubby took the afternoon off & is helping wrangle kids, stopping by the store to bring me my life force of caffeine which I should just get an IV pump for & alternate the bags between the 2 choices - coffee & diet coke.

I am so blessed in so many ways, most of all to have a loving husband who takes care of me in addition to working his tale off to support us all. I've always been a "needs before wants" type of gal. I thought this practicality to be very important. This man has taught me that it is a Need to also take a moment to remind ourselves what we struggle through all this for & enjoy ourselves from time to time. While he is a bit over board on the "wants are needs too" frame of mind, he still completes me & balances me. He would like to take me to dinner & a movie tonight if I can stay vertical & coherent enough for both without too much pain. I, in my usual anxiety/worry prone manner list off: we need milk, the tooth fairy is returning tonight for 6 yr old, we need a birthday present for a party 6 yr old is invited to, gas in vehicles, is there money for weekend cleaning projects & dump runs? He stops me with his patient & familiar look straight into my eyes. It reminds me without him having to use the teasing words which once went with this gaze: "oh no, oh no, we're all going to die, what will we do?" So dear readers, with much gratefulness for being so wonderfully blessed, even with a bizarre dream under my belt, I will be enjoying dinner & a show with hubby this evening. I hope your weekend holds enjoyment & escape from the ho-humness of the daily grind as well. Till next time, be blessed!

Mis-Communication & Time

OK, this isn't how this was going to start out, but I just put 3 boys in the tub & heard my skinniest 1 say: "..this makes my butt look big" ! NOT what a mother expects to hear from a 6 yr old boy. However, it turns out the bubble bath-foam had slid to that particular area. If only that was all making my rear larger-than-life!

I've been trying to convince my husband to refinish the original hard wood floors in our older-than-dirt house. I've even had several people say it isn't as hard as he thinks, not that big of a deal, blah, blah, blah. So today he e-mails me about company Sunday night & him cooking teriyaki halibut on the grill & also whether I've seen bamboo flooring before. He then emails that he will bring some home for me to touch. Fish or flooring?? I'm so confused. I'm not even medicated today! Maybe that's the problem. Who knows? He clarified which I thanked him for. Apparently tonight in all my spare time (insert laugh here since there is no such thing) I will be stroking flooring. I'm so thankful I won't be stroking fish. As I've often said before, in this house, either could have been possible.

I got to talk to a delightful woman on the phone today with an adorable southern accent. She sounds more "normal" to me than some (Midwesterners, I am talking to you & your twangy-twang, cute, but twangy). However, we got to discussing how to properly fry okra & when she said "oil" & it sounded like "bowl" without the "b" it reminded me of a dear friend from Arkansas I had nearly 22 yrs ago. She & I waitressed together & she would get a $5.00 tip for a $0.58 cent cup of coffee (with tax) with a customer pleading, "just say somethin' darlin' - anything". We were going out to the pool at my apartment complex one day & it took my room-mate & me 20 minutes to figure out that she was asking for tanning oil. I sure miss her. Her brother Beau even asked me to marry him. What a TALL, southern hunk of hotness he was too. I spared him the insanity of dealing with me so I could eventually burden my now-husband with it instead. I'm sure he wishes he knew how to find Beau & beg him to come & get me! Makes me think how much time changes things & how much things themselves change with time. Yes, there is a difference.

Speaking of things changing with time, boys have now vacated the tub so I suppose this is all for today dear readers. Be Blessed - all the time.

Naked Cheese Requests

Here I had been wondering what I might write about today. Then it happens. I'm on the phone for the first time speaking with another mom I've met on-line & it happens. I'm across the house in another room so I can hear above the parrot. Children are fairly quiet thanks to bad parenting aka: TV time. That is, they were fairly quiet until my 3 yr old walks in & I cannot help but interrupt this wonderful woman on the phone to ask him, "Why are you naked?" His answer, "well, me want cheese" so naturally I reply, "You don't have to be naked to eat cheese". The other mother has completely lost it at this point, wondering what type of person/family she is actually communicating with & whether or not authorities need to be notified. Now, whether she would want to notify the USDA or Children's Services is her problem, I had bigger fish to fry or at least - cheese to slice. I start bargaining to regain the semi-quiet I had previously been blessed with: "If you get undies & pants back on I will get you cheese" I say trying to sound as normal as possible. Then comes the follow up, "Me want chocolate donuts" (he says me instead of I due to a speech problem called verbal dyspraxia which I will blog about another time). I tell the sweet, innocent, still semi-naked child that I don't have any chocolate donuts. "Me bad boy?" he asks with big blue eyes & a saddened look on his face. "No, you're not a bad boy, I just don't have any chocolate donuts". By now all my attempts to resume the phone conversation are in vain as this poor woman has completely lost her train of thought. I multi-task, trying to remind her where she was in the conversation as I slice cheese. I don't even realize I answer my child's "What is that?" with a "Worm-guts" reply as I hand a different child of mine a pink otter pop until it's too late & I have yet more to explain. You see I get tired of answering the obvious so I come up with crazy answers for things instead. Yeah, the "goodbye" loomed imminently more near. I tried to sound sane & casual as we hung up. Everybody is like this - right?

Don't all 3 yr olds get naked at odd times for questionable reasons? But, then again, wouldn't we all love to bathe in that freedom of uncaring, abandonment, to be naked whenever we wanted for whatever reason? That is if we (meaning not me & a select other few) haven't had a half dozen pregnancies & childbirths. I really don't want to know why my 3 yr old was standing up in bed in the middle of the night naked & playing Legos, it would somehow take the charm of it all away. Plus, I'm scared to find out.

I temporally lost my place writing as my 7 yr old just interrupted me to tell me there was a flood in his room. I repeated him, he said, no a fly & I was quite relieved. I'm sure you all know how much better it is to have a fly in one's room than it is to have a flood. Being a mother with lots of boys I knew both options were possible & had given it my best guess & eliminated the worst possible outcome to begin with. Whew, dodged a bullet there. Don't think I could have taken mopping up a flood today. Especially given my sore back & knees from mopping up the mayo, ham & cheese smeared on the floor yesterday. Funny how these things mysteriously happen when all are in the room & nobody did it or saw it or knows anything about it. Yeah, "Funny" that's the word I'm looking for - hmmph, NOT.

While I am no longer having to buy acne cream & diapers at the store, my family is still keeping me plenty busy. My 3 yr old being potty trained is great, if it would just stop looking like all the boys, husband & 17 yr old included, were playing naked twister while attempting to pee in the toilet. I guess it's a good thing water splashes out of the tub each little-boy-bath time, helps wash every out I suppose. That's me, Miss Mary Sunshine, trying to look on the bright side - or at least the convenient side of life & housekeeping.

Photo Updates to Journal Posts

This is GST: Giant Scaly Thing, looking incredibly smaller in his owner's clutches than he did in the tank. I found out when he was leaving that his name, I think, is Herman. He made life interesting & gave me something to focus on for a few days to say the least. The little blue-bellied lizard the boys caught is so small he doesn't show up in the pictures, blending into his rocks. So, sorry no picture of him so far. If he keeps eating like he does, there will be a photo next week. His tale is already growing back from when the boys caught him & it fell off.

This is Crash, Crashed out for once. As usual, backwards all the way. His head on footstool, feet on chair & there's that duck, Hansel (Gretel passed away) using his moppy blonde hair for a nest. I told my husband his feathered friend wasn't allowed to poo on our son's head!

This is 1 of 2 hamster-habitats for our 3 hamsters. Oh, & that isn't any HGTV designer wall covering for Martha Stewart to go gaga for, it would be permanent marker my darling cherub, Crash wrote on the wall with. Ah, life with children, it is never like I imagined.

These are Furry Babies, Loki (the big one) & Pixie (the little one). No that isn't the contents of my head emptied out, though I understand your confusion. That is a very rocky lake shore where some serious, die-hard fishing was going on.

This is the poor fish tank we were in the middle of draining water out of so we could clean when our budding photographer, Boog, age 6 took this embarrassing photo. Darn sucker fish went on the South Beach Diet it looks like!

I think the gold fish is actually a deadly carnivore but I've yet to prove this. I see the way he looks at me! Plus he gets excited & swims fast when he smells steak on the BBQ. I've got one word to keep you in place Goldy - "Sushi" (goldfish sushi would be gross, call off PETA).

Again, call off PETA, the bird is NOT actually drinking, my husband took care of that so he couldn't be accused of alcohol abuse. This is Loca, his love-bird that is actually an African Gray parrot. Don't you like the flattering photo of hubby's face? Great camera angle huh? I would have done better to have the 6 yr old take the picture.

So, this is all for now dear readers, hope this helps satisfy your curiosity. Hugs & blessings!

Attempting to Maintain Status Quot

I thought that giving the hamsters away would be easy to convince the boys of since they don't play with them. However, they occasionally observe them & also feed them. I was asked why I wanted to give them new homes & then told, "but I like them & want to keep them". Mom-0 Hamsters-1 for those of you keeping track.

My husband told me in a not at all joking manner, that he'd like to set up a rack of tanks, like at a pet store, for lizards & for the turtle that everyone wants. By head count alone, the pets are over-taking us. Or at least they were well on their way if not for a by chance e-mail from my niece.

Thankfully I did not just delete this forward, I responded with a letter because she's never e-mailed me before. In fact I've only met her twice, once as a baby & again when she was about 19, she is now 21. Shameful & embarrassing to admit, but there it is. I am thankful she felt free to open up to me & told me how difficult life in Panoma is, I believe that's the part of LA area she said she's in. To say she is in a bad area will suffice for now, I wouldn't want to give you nightmares over what this young girl has seen & lived with & what an un-Godly amount of rent she pays to do so. Luckily that is being remedied, she & her fiance have accepted our offer for them to come stay with us. Pets minus 1 point, humans plus a point - yeah, now that's what I'm talkin' about!

As for my weekend it was the usual: hubby worked all weekend bless his heart. He also managed to drill a hole in the floor accidentally while drilling through a metal arm he was altering for some work purpose. He had to do this in the living-room so he could watch TV while working on the project. LOL. And yes we have a garage, but no, it is more of a catch-all storage & laundry center. Laundry, dishes, children & an occasional attempt at a nap were the weekend highlights, I know, I'm a wild woman!

I know I am a true mother of (predominately) boys when I can ignore without a second thought a semi-blood-curdling scream coming from their room. That scream is a familiar, previously classified & cataloged as the: "no big deal we are just playing around rough & rowdy like" scream. Classifying the various verbal & audible clues I'm given throughout the day & evening is handy but has also led to horrid bottom expansion since I no longer have to get up off my thang to check as often as I use to. I can just relay the correct response, "hey, settle down" "is everyone alright?" "getting a little rough don't ya think?" "how about that duct tape?" etc. This leads me to wonder how a treadmill, whatever the latest high tech variation of such is, would look placed conveniently somewhere in our home? How could I decorate it since I more than likely wouldn't be on it? Oh, hanging plants from the handlebars comes to mind. We could always use more plants in the house. Now that nobody is in diapers & all are becoming more self sufficient I have managed as of late to keep both family & 3, count 'em 3, house plants alive! Where's my trophy dang it?!

Realization that I've forgotten to share something very important just hit me like a ton of bricks. This was a bigger weekend than I let on, we had a very special guest in our home, although nobody saw her. The tooth fairy was once again here for my 7 yr old. I now affectionately refer to him as Gumby, plus he's tall, thin & wiggly, so it's very appropriate. This child is fueling a college fund or something with all his tooth fairy money. On one occasion, he like other children of mine, was left a note from the tooth fairy which I will sum up for you since I cannot remember exactly. Basically it said, take better care of your teeth, eat less sweets & brush better, this tooth is more hole than tooth & I cannot recycle it to the children who need teeth, better luck next time. Our 7 yr old also attempted to trick the tooth fairy with a piece of paper he cut out in the shape & size of his tooth & put under his pillow but that didn't work out. Nice try though, gotta admire the ingenuity on that one.

Well, until next time dear readers, have a wonderful day!

Zoo-ology

I apologise for not writing yesterday dear readers. A marathon-migraine like my heart beat exploding in my head - but appropriately enough - with total W.C.S. (white chick syndrome) unable to keep the rhythm. This & other health challenges prompted a lack of creativity. On my part, I can't help but wonder if scientists can clone a freaking cow & build robotic devices to probe Mars why do people still suffer various health problems here on Earth? We have super speedy bullet trains & the ability to track down the source of e-coli to the exact lettuce field, diagnose bird flu but we can't cure cancer or prevent the common cold? Not glamorous enough I suppose, or is it, like many things, all about money? Am I the only one who finds these things odd?

And speaking of odd...
...My little dog will eat almost anything - including poo from various sources - but draws the line at black jelly beans. If this doesn't send a message to the powers that be in the bean-factories I don't know what will.
...My 3 yr old son fell asleep with his head on our foot-stool & his feet on the chair & a duck (yes ladies & gentlemen, a real, honest to goodness duck) perched on his head.
...Most people have guard-dogs, we have guard ducks. Our dogs are teddy bears, the ducks "protect" my husband & attack if we come too close to him. One in particular enjoys perching on his shoulder to watch TV. Boy does the parrot get jealous of that! I'm reminded of the "keeper-line" in the movie, "The Truth About Cats & Dogs" which is, "You can love your pets just don't love your pets." That needs framed somewhere in our house! You have no idea how serious I am on that one! LOL!
Just status quot for life in a zoo.

Useless Bits of Trivia & Info I've Accidentally Accumulated

• My hubby is often fueled by cheesecake & beer, I by coffee or diet coke & dark chocolate, both of us have the bodies to prove it & we're ok with that. Or at least we're ok with it until liposuction becomes less expensive.
• I now know what lizard poo looks like because unfortunately it's on display in the tank with the lizard on my son's dresser.
• Folding & sorting laundry into piles for each of my children while I was not fully awake I nearly put my daughter's undies in the wrong pile. No big deal except everyone else in the house is male & I don't want to mentally scar them for life. And yes, I have a photo of my 3 yr old grinning ear to ear in sissy's pink high heels.
• Children can convince you they are at death's door on a school day morning yet have energy to bounce off walls & run through the house. While they "threw up at school" the day before they remain healthy at home - at least until the following school day morning.
• Telling a teen to get a job if they want more money translates in their minds to "work harder at manipulating mom out of every last cent" & my suggestion was met by a very loud guffaw.
• Having a parrot when a mother is sick comes in handy. Today our parrot heard the boys being loud & rowdy & yelled firmly, "Stop it!" I guess they listened to it about as well as they do to me.
• Wide brimmed, short drinking glasses work as dishes for serving applesauce when one is out of actual bowls & unable to do the dishes.
• A teenage girl could easily be found under the catagory of "Earth's deadliest creatures". The hormonal rage over a simple, "glad you're home" due to reaching out to gently & lovingly pat said girl on shoulder is some Steven King worthy event.
• 16 & 17 yr olds have invented cool, or at least re-invented it to what cool actually is or otta-be. They also know everything there is to know about everything. What they don't know they have no need to know so back off thumb sucker!
• My 3 yr old boy with moppy blonde hair & big blue eyes & sweet rosey cheeks can do something aweful then come to me, laying his head gently on her arm, lovingly hold me ever so lightly & ask, "Mom, me bad boy?" & it is nearly impossible to tell the truthful - yes. "no honey, you're a good boy but it was bad to do.... blah blah blah." After about the millionth time however, my answer is, "Yes, you are a bad boy to do that!!!" go ahead & shoot me, I'm human, who knew?
• My 6 yr old developing a love of photography, grabbing my camera without asking & taking photos can cause problems. When the camera was found again & various pictures of strange things were in the photo review, the ones of my 3 yr old semi-naked son were the hardest to explain. "No officer I'm not into child pornography, but apparently my 6 yr old is" just doesn't seem like a good thing to say.

Rubber Duckies

The recent national tragedy on 4-16-'07 has pulled at everyone's heart-strings. It will take time for all of us to recover. The following day I was at the grocery store & had a difficult encounter with 2 angry individuals which left me shaking and near tears. I was told by the cashier that they are in often & always rude to everyone - not to worry about it. Yet I was almost afraid to walk out to my car. This simple, annoying event somehow became more to me. Were they just angry people for no real pinpointable reason? What does it take to send angry people over the edge? Did I have 1 item too many in my cart? Did they have a gun? What if I'd had 2 items over?

I've been so down-hearted lately seeing selfishness & lack of common courtesy seaping in all around me, trying to submerge me in its sticky blackness like a tar pit. Disappointment began to overwhelm me. I try to remember the 3 yr old boy praying to God about his dearly departed goldfish, Dorothy. I am given a glimmer of hope by this, by my 6 yr old picking a flower/weed for me each day when he gets off the bus, by the fact that the pharmacist didn't bother writing down that I owed the pharmacy $10.00 for my last prescription because she knew it wouldn't be an issue at all. I became slightly selfish last night & delegated my evening duties to various other well-capable household members so I could take a hot bath to contemplate feelings & life & to escape.

It was in the bathtub that things became more clear. 3 little rubber-ducks with Easter bunny ears bobbed wrecklessly through the water-if only briefly. A symbolism of mankind in life? They were top heavy, as I have been with the weight of the world bogging me down, it caused them to hide their heads in the bubbles. I too had been hiding my head in the sand - submerged in murky thoughts so much so as to render me unable to pop back up for air. I'm not as cute or festive as rubber-ducks, nor am I bedecked with bunny ears.

These yellow rubber ducks with bunny ears made me think of Easter - of resurrection. Perhaps this is the year for all of our resurrection from harsh, judgemental thoughts & evil, spiteful ways. I hope my heart & mind do not continue to be so heavy that I cannot resurface from the murkiness. I leave the tub to dress & see in my room confetti cutouts which had been in an easter egg. They are also rubber ducks, but with party hats on. Yes, the world still can get all of us down. But, if God can get a point across to me through rubber ducks -anything is possible! I'm hopeful & inspired once more. Feel free to belt out a defiant quack & waddle forward friends.

April 30th 2007 Memorial

Mind Wanderings of a Pensive Heart

I usually have trouble sleeping but last night this was especially true. Not for the bodily aches & pains I generally medicate for but for the aches & pains of my heart. I mourn the slowly evident death of our society which Internet & media have both blessed & cursed us with access to. I mourn moral decay so brazenly displayed by so called pop icons in panty-less charades; those willing to do anything for a buck like film young semi-naked girls doing nasty things; people hacking unborn fetuses out of mothers' wombs, the kidnapping & raping & murdering of our nation's children. I am so hurt by the Va Tech mass shooting even living across the nation from it & not personally knowing the victims. I know I am not the only one mourning the loss of these fine young men & women. I cannot begin to fathom what their families & friends are going through. How troubled a soul must be to carry out these above mentioned acts.

Last night a friend in NY emailed me about her 3 yr old son going to show off his goldfish to her friend. Unfortunately one of the fish was floating upside down - dead. They discussed a garden burial with a ceremony or the usual fish burial at the porcelain sea. This sweet, young, innocent child of God was worried that Dorothy (the fish) wouldn't like being in the pipes but eventually decided this was the best option. He said a prayer & they flushed. He hugged his remaining fish & hermit crabs giving them a promise of better care. This act prompted mom to clean the fish bowl, perhaps dirty water had been a contributing factor. Upon the cleaning process a healthy fish wriggled loose & flopped inadvertently near the drain. This sent the child screaming in fear, causing the mother to scream & quickly grab for the fish. Luckily her swift hand accurately caught & rescued the fish & everything was fine. When she told me all of this I could not help but laugh out loud almost hysterically, envisioning this whole tale. Was this some sort of sick cathartic release on my part? Or, have I grown so callus to the ways of the world to actually find this amusing? The same child sat with his head bowed at breakfast this morning. His mother was trying to urge him to hurry so as not to be late for school. However, when she asked what was wrong she was told by this sweet 3 yr old child that he was praying about Dorothy. The mother applaudedly realized one cannot tell a child to hurry up while he is speaking to God so he was late to school. I had relayed to this mother that we must be tougher here in the NW. Sadly enough, my family has had occasion to eat their breakfast facing a fish tank which at times has had a dead fish in it long enough to start decomposing & being eaten by another fish. Is this a "circle of life" moment or are we so busy with our materialistic lives as not to be compassionate enough to even clean the dang thing out? Neither choice is good but both unfortunately may be possible.

I sit here, safely in my home, babbling on about whatever strikes me. I make note of our animals, and those only here as some sort of pet-hotel-guest. I tucked my 3 little boys in last night with my usual little saying that they now say with me: "Night-night, sleep tight, don't let the bed-bugs bite, have sw--ee--ee--t dreams, I love you & I'll see you in the morning". We often play a game where we "say it wrong" such as "good-morning, good-morning, sleep loose, let the bed-bugs gobble you to bits & pieces, have rotten-yucky dreams & I'll see you next week" or variations, since we now have a lizard (2 temporarily) such as: "...don't let the lizard bite" or whatever. My 6 yr old said to the lizard: "Night-night lizard don't let the humans bite" & I found this very funny & cute.

But, as the night wore on, the cuteness faded & the accuracy emerged: humans do "bite". We sub come to plaguing dark thoughts, we do bad things that can never be taken back & made right. Things that have lasting impact & a ripple effect on more than one would imagine. If one did take the time to contemplate these implications possibly the acts wouldn't be carried out. I imagine if one is thoughtful enough to think of these things one would never think, let alone act, on such horrible thoughts in the first place. A great Nor-Easter storm has struck & wreaked havoc as well. We have begun to rebuild our lives & a great city many years post 9-11, yet somehow the horrible devastation of that day came emerging through to the forefront of my heart when I read news of the VA Tech shooting. Our enemies need not be foreign, our enemies are often domestic, are often ourselves. How is a dorm shooting of 2 not enough of an alarm to close a school? Is it because our society has morally decayed so much? We've been inundated with hurricanes, floods, blizzards, get out the hammer & nails & find some wood for an arc!!! Do we even deserve salvation if this is what we've become? The fact that my heart is not alone in its aching for our nations victims, the children of Dufar, the homeless & sick & starving in foreign nations, is a good sign. The fact that children as young as 3 can mourn & pray the passing of a gold fish gives me hope. Our strength lies in compassionate hearts & teaching our children respect for life & their learning that humans do "bite" & to be cautious. For those of you suffering losses today, I pray for you, I mourn for & with you & I will attempt to divert your sorrow hopefully with a laugh or two when you & I are both able.

This morning I am fueled not by coffee but by a pensive heart (& diet coke). May God (whomever your God be or your higher power) be with all of you today & always.

Just a Typical Day So Far

In this house a "typical day" is usually anything but for most people. My 6 yr old son came to me quite perky (& without coffee - how does he do it?) with a big smile & exclaimed, "Mom I opened the cage & petteded (yes, an extra 'ed' he's in speech) the big lizode & he petteded me back with his tongue." Before the cuteness of this statement could sink in & melt my soul the psychotic in me kicked into high gear! Trying to hide my alarm I said rather calmly (although fake) "oh, how nice, did you remember to CLOSE the cage again when you were done honey?" Relief poured over me like someone announcing Free Starbucks & I was the only person in line, his answer was "yeah". How did I become a mother yet again? I've somehow adopted in overseeing the care of GST. I asked my 17 yr old this morning if he fed & watered it.

Something is definitely wrong in a house where the people eat cereal for breakfast & a scaly, slithery thing gets scrambled eggs. I had 2 cups of coffee but still no real ambition to rectify this matter. So, so be it! My poor son got sent to school with a "wish-lunch" a pb&j & wish we had more to go with it. He won't eat the oranges because of having 1 slightly tart a few weeks ago. So the parrot eats the oranges, the rabbit eats the left over apple parts we discard & some carrots that I've yet to toss into a homemade soup, the dogs eat the sandwich crusts, can you tell we recycle avidly?! I'd say it's a wonder we need garbage service at all but there are still 7 of us here in the house so, who would I be kidding? Even on a good day I tell ya, it's at least 1 bag.

This brings me to the laundry situation. When I was young, way back in the day (how come I can remember that & not other stuff?) & I'd imagine what my life would be like when I was an adult, I never envisioned a sock basket overflowing with lonely socks crying out for their mates. I never envisioned dirty laundry comparable to Mt Everest in size despite doing 2 or 3 loads a day. I never thought about what I might be able to do with all the lint I scrape from the dryer's lint trap if I were more clever. The things we over look in life. Which brings me to my next point:

Like the modern day necessity of keeping a freakin' cow in the back yard for all the milk we go through. The people at the grocery store think I run some sort of youth camp since the entire bottom of the shopping cart will hold at capacity 12 jugs of milk & that is not, repeat NOT enough for 2 weeks. If I ever ask for help out their mistaken belief is then further founded by my moseying up to a 12 passenger van. They look in vein for some sort of sign telling them what charity I run. HA. Just your typical family & a typical shopping trip, but I keep this secret to myself & just let them wonder.

I think back longingly of when I drove a VW Bug & had plenty of room for everything I needed. Gosh, I had hip bones then too. Actual bones in my hips that showed rather than ached, gosh those were the days. I was very small chested but gravity hadn't torn me asunder along with multiple child births & everything was in its right place. Now I lay awake thinking of how to comfortably sleep upside down so gravity will reverse it's evil on my body. I haven't figured how to comfortably roll breasts like socks (provided you are lucky enough to have 2 that match) into a ball & stuff them into a brassiere. Maybe this is a secret that passed away with my grandmother. By the way, why is it when we are young we have freckles & when we get older they are called age spots?! Now that's just plain wrong! I call FOUL, FOUL I say!!!

While I am saggy & thicker & hide my hip bones well (from what & why I don't have a clue) & I'm no longer cool with a fun, zippy little car, I at least have children that light up my life (for the times when I can't pay the power bill on time) & I have a good pot-roast recipe. Add to that I can make some pretty good chocolate chip banana bread & life over all isn't half bad.

Life Returning to "Normal"

Well, we had a little friend over the other day. I guess in this household I should clarify, he was (& continues to be for that matter) human! A friend of my 7 yr old son came & spent the night. He is the only boy with 3 sisters, shy by 2 of being the opposite of our home. So, he enjoyed lots of Boy-Time. Chocolate chip pancakes didn't seem to take the disappointment of having to go back home away unfortunately but gosh, I tried.

Today I awoke with my neck pain so much more severe I might as well be in one of those whip-lash collars, unable to turn my head at all. Good thing "Giant-Scaly-Thing" is going home & that I'm finally feeling an eensy bit more comfortable about him being here since I can't look over my shoulder to see if he's licking & staring at me. Unfortunately, when I did face his cage I couldn't see him at all, I think/hope/pray he's snuggled in his shirt-blankey & not loose roaming about. I should have put that bell around his neck when I thought of it-just couldn't quite rig the fishing pole to dangle it into his cage & slip it on him, darn me & my lack of co-ordination.

We here in the great North West pride ourselves on our Independence & self reliance. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to stop some from doing stupid stuff, I guess we can always trace back the genealogy of people who've been caught doing these stupid things & say they are trans-plants, not originally from here. As I contemplate our self reliance it occurs to me we actually are not self reliant at all. We depend heavily on coffee for everything. There are more coffee stands in my small town than I can count & none of them have gone out of business. We depend on coffee all day long for everything & even into the night. We are so fueled by this murky water that I'm shocked we haven't received some sort of Governmental Assistance to build some sort of Betty Ford 12 step center to resurrect us from our coffee addictions. Thank goodness for that! Personally I cannot fathom paying a lot for a cup of coffee. I make my own mud & I'm darned proud of it! Grinding flavored beans at home, once brewed I add flavored creamer & fake sugar, a lot of it. So much extra goes into my coffee that it almost isn't coffee at all (blasphemy!). Ah, the sweet warmth, fueling my soul! A hot day means just one thing-frapaccinos!! Mmmmm. Yes, coffee truly does make much of life possible & beyond that, down right enjoyable! Hale to coffee. People who are unfortunate enough to be addicted to drugs, I'm convinced, just haven't had a good cup of legal coffee. It is a shame I tell ya, but more for me. Now, for another cup. Until next time dear readers-wishing you a great cup of Joe!

Tongue in Cheek Parenting Advice for Staying Sane

• Duct tape is your best friend & does wonders for child rearing


• Benedryl is a cure all for your headache as well as a child's hives


• a long hot bubble bath & prozac can work miracles


• teenagers, God bless 'em, no matter how perfect they are, are God's hysterical joke on us all for Eve eating the apple & birth control 15 yrs too late


• if your teen is very compliant with all you ask of him or her on the very first request with no back talk or complaining, check the family car for dents &/or blood stains on the bumper


• if your child magically decides to finish all of his or her formerlly "yucky dinner" instantly once dessert is looming as an incentive, check to make sure you've first put the dog outside.


• when your cat or child goes missing, check the dryer. I can't emphasize this enough - see my photo for proof if you don't believe me


• a ceiling fan in a boys room promotes hours of creativity & subsequent housework - trust me also make sure they don't have a stuffed animal snake to loop over the blade & hang from after jumping off the top bunk - this is the voice of experience talking so listen.


• These next 3 I truely mean in sincerety:enjoy dandylion boquets, never refer to them as weeds.


• when shown a picture they've drawn NEVER assume you know what it is - ask them to tell you about it, make note of their choice of colors, have them bring it to you to avoid holding it upside down or sideways.


• let them dress themselves & choose their own clothes from a selection you've pre-approved. If they are mismatched or backwards & just starting on their own to do this, make note in public when you get odd stares - of how proud you are that they dressed themselves today.


• While this is true I don't actually advocate duct tape, just a joke: you can no longer threaten to take a child to the car, there are now security cameras in parking lots - just refer them to the duct tape mentioned above

Surviving the visit of "Giant-Scaly-Thing"

While I normally sleep with one leg looped out of the covers, lately, for some reason, I have NOT been. Wonder why? Although I feel quite sheepish being nervous about this Thing in my home. After all, I received an e-mail from a mom in Florida with a photo of an alligator who frequents her back yard. She said the photo was when it was a baby!! The water behind it looked so blue & inviting too, but 'fraid not. So, this woman has me beat hands down. What do I have that she does not? A doggy-door for starters - and the ability to send my kids out into the yard. What a blessing, I don't know how she does it.
My son has been doing a bang-up job of caring for GST, feeding it warm scrambled eggs twice daily. He doesn't know what it is but we are currently under the impression it is a Savanah Monitor. I will try to photo the "baby" beast when courage & enough coffee allow. All I know is my little dog is quite nervous & whenever she is in the same room with it she faces the thing & won't take her eyes off of it. Normally she can easily be distracted by the remotest possibility of a snack, so can I for that matter, but not with GST here. Maybe it will be a start of a new diet trend here at home for the both of us, one can only hope.
We still haven't duct-taped the lid on this creature's tank but I'm learning to live with it, I keep thinking of the other mom's backyard alligator to put things in perspective. Well, one more day....then things will be back to normal here, whatever that means.

What Happens When Mom Leaves The House

I really don't hardly ever leave the house. I take my boys to school, I go to the grocery store when I can't get someone else to. Tonight, my husband had to really talk me into going out to a quick bite & a movie with him - I cancelled last night & tried to cancel tonight. I've just been tired, achey etc. So, I humored him & we went out. It was a fairly decent time & I grabbed a couple groceries with him afterward & we came home. I'd say we were gone 4 hours at the absolute most.
We get home & my daughter had a girlfriend over & they left for a bit. My oldest son asked us about the movie, etc then left with a friend for a bit. I get the 3 little boys tucked in, my jammies on & come in to the computer room. I spend a lot of time in here & know it like the back of my hand.
I'm an observant person usually. I'll notice things that nobody else does often times in various settings, but not tonight apparently. My husband comes in to hand me the phone & then as he is standing behind me he says in a rather startled voice, "Oh my God, Where did THAT come from?!" So naturally I turn around. Oh my gosh is right!!!! There, in a tank only slightly larger than it is, sits a GIANT lizzard thing! There is a heat lamp on top of a NOT secure at all looking lid with teensy tiny hooks to hold it down, what appears to be a sweatshirt for the thing to snuggle in/under/plot to over take our home etc & some fake grass with another heat pad underneath, a lone rock & a dish of water. I sheepishly asked my husband what the thing eats & if the lid is on tight, I don't want to have to do a head count of our children in the morning!! Apparently my 7 yr old heard me & told Dad that my teenage-son's friend brought it over. Props to the 17 yr old male for learning his communication skills like a real MAN & NOT saying a word to his mother or anyone else before he left. Luckily (or not depending on how you look at it) I have a prescription for xanax for panic attacks & still have some left!!!! By the way, I type by touch & currently am doing so with both eyes trained behind me, watch for me to whine tomorrow about a stiff neck from keeping an eye on this thing that is also, creepily keeping an eye on me!!!! AAAGGGh
My husband tried to reassure me that if it eats larger stuff we can always combine the hamsters back into 1 cage & keep a constant food source. That wasn't helpful honey, not at all. Did I ever tell you the hamster story? NO, well sit back, it's a doozy.
My darling daughter loves animals & had a hamster when she was younger & loved it, insisted on another hamster for it to have a friend. Within a week we had 21 hamsters & had to find homes or sell them back to the pet store, etc. Keeping this in mind, for xmas she set up her 3 little brothers with just 1 hamster & a fun little cage & exercise ball etc. She was assured by the petstore-dude that boys were seperated from girls & she had a boy hamster. Well, Christmas miracles & virgin births abounded here at our house in December & our BOY hamster gave birth to 5 (thankfully not 20) baby hamsters. 1 got loose & the dog hoovered it up, being a good mouser (my little dog looks like the footstool from Beauty & the Beast movie, she's more like a lazy house cat than a dog, but no hacking up hairballs, its the best of both worlds-unless you are a hamster apparently). Another 1 got beat up by the other hamsters & that was that (voted off the island-not a surviver). Anyway, we seperated mom from the remaining 2 & have kept status quo so far.
Giant Scaly Thing has now shifted his position for a more optimal view of the back of my head. I really hope I don't look tastey!!! Did I mention I normally have sleep problems as it is? Don't look for me to sleep well tonight, in fact I might as well just make the dam* coffee now!!! oh geez.......life is never dull at our house. This is what I get for leaving!!!! Now there's some insight as to why I don't go out much, although I have to say, this is a first....hopefully an only. I'm hoping my son is just babysitting this thing-my husband thinks it is a water dragon. I still want to know what it eats & I'm hoping it's lettuce & non breathing things. ug. wish me luck & plenty of xanax.