Screaming in my Sleep

First, I can assure you, this had nothing to do with lizards. Secondly, I'm now wondering if screaming in my sleep is my only outlet to all the stifled ones throughout day to day life? Could be! You know the motto around here by heart, if only I was musically inclined & could set it to song: "In this house, anything's possible!" Actually, I had a very disturbing dream which I can only remember bits of, which sound utterly hysterical in daylight with a cognitive mind. But hey, we're here for a laugh & an insight into life of some sort so I vow not to hide a thing. In my dream, some supernatural thing appeared through thin air, teamed up with Superman's nemesis trying to scare & hurt me.

Maintaining long-term memory, at least somewhat, at the completely unwilling sacrifice of short-term memory (fibromyalgia brain fog curse you I say!) brought me to remembrance of many hours spent in my home town library as a pre-teen obsessed with the study of dream analysis. This coupled with the agonizing worry over stupid minutia, such as yesterday's previous post: Beau's name actually being spelled "Bo". If you haven't noticed by now, I interrupt myself a lot. Anyway, back to the dream.

I now can clearly see, in my theory at least, that my dream was due to considering changing my avatar in a cyber-cafe to Super-Kitty, my nickname has always been Kat. Super-kitty's red cape - superman - trying to help people. I've also lately been dealing with a few on-line friends whom have been victims of threats. These are lovely women who have been through a lot. They have been physically abused in the past & have many health issues, my problems are trivial compared to theirs. These women rarely leave the house, due in part to health issues & in part because once a woman is a victim of abuse it is very difficult to ever feel safe anywhere. So, when one finds an outlet within the four walls of one's own home which allows one to connect with others ( all hail the Internet) it is wonderful. To then be verbally assaulted in an on-line forum has lingering effects.

On to sillier things! This morning as I dropped off 2 of my boys at school & a 3rd at childcare I took a moment to praise God for my good friend duct tape! What a true God-send that my mom-mobile's interior upholstery is almost the same color as duct tape, which I've had to use to repair a few gouges in the seats from too much wear & tear.

Hubby has officially won one! Carbonized bamboo flooring is very pretty. He assures me (since he doesn't read this I can say this-I take his assurance on this matter with a Giant grain of salt) that replacing our old hard wood floors with carbonized bamboo will be cheaper than trying to refinish the current floors. Picture, if you will, hubby with cheesecake & beer, a party hat, streamers about, doing the "woo-hoo it's my birthday, drive the bus victory dance". I've learned through having many children & through marriage, to choose my battles. I'll give him this one. After all, it isn't like we can afford a lotto ticket, nor are we lucky enough to pick a winner, to be able to do any of this anyway. So, it is a bit of a moot point. Yea for hubby & his victory, let's not diminish it in the least. Insert an enthusiastic & resounding "woo-hoo!" here.

So, this morning hubby was at work & kids were at school. Silence is SO comforting (!), like a fleece blanket softly dropping down on me. It wraps me in serenity & adds to the warmth of my bed which I had dedicated this morning to returning to. I didn't know I would inadvertently extend morning quite a bit past noon. Thankfully, for some reason, hubby took the afternoon off & is helping wrangle kids, stopping by the store to bring me my life force of caffeine which I should just get an IV pump for & alternate the bags between the 2 choices - coffee & diet coke.

I am so blessed in so many ways, most of all to have a loving husband who takes care of me in addition to working his tale off to support us all. I've always been a "needs before wants" type of gal. I thought this practicality to be very important. This man has taught me that it is a Need to also take a moment to remind ourselves what we struggle through all this for & enjoy ourselves from time to time. While he is a bit over board on the "wants are needs too" frame of mind, he still completes me & balances me. He would like to take me to dinner & a movie tonight if I can stay vertical & coherent enough for both without too much pain. I, in my usual anxiety/worry prone manner list off: we need milk, the tooth fairy is returning tonight for 6 yr old, we need a birthday present for a party 6 yr old is invited to, gas in vehicles, is there money for weekend cleaning projects & dump runs? He stops me with his patient & familiar look straight into my eyes. It reminds me without him having to use the teasing words which once went with this gaze: "oh no, oh no, we're all going to die, what will we do?" So dear readers, with much gratefulness for being so wonderfully blessed, even with a bizarre dream under my belt, I will be enjoying dinner & a show with hubby this evening. I hope your weekend holds enjoyment & escape from the ho-humness of the daily grind as well. Till next time, be blessed!