Useless Bits of Trivia & Info I've Accidentally Accumulated

• My hubby is often fueled by cheesecake & beer, I by coffee or diet coke & dark chocolate, both of us have the bodies to prove it & we're ok with that. Or at least we're ok with it until liposuction becomes less expensive.
• I now know what lizard poo looks like because unfortunately it's on display in the tank with the lizard on my son's dresser.
• Folding & sorting laundry into piles for each of my children while I was not fully awake I nearly put my daughter's undies in the wrong pile. No big deal except everyone else in the house is male & I don't want to mentally scar them for life. And yes, I have a photo of my 3 yr old grinning ear to ear in sissy's pink high heels.
• Children can convince you they are at death's door on a school day morning yet have energy to bounce off walls & run through the house. While they "threw up at school" the day before they remain healthy at home - at least until the following school day morning.
• Telling a teen to get a job if they want more money translates in their minds to "work harder at manipulating mom out of every last cent" & my suggestion was met by a very loud guffaw.
• Having a parrot when a mother is sick comes in handy. Today our parrot heard the boys being loud & rowdy & yelled firmly, "Stop it!" I guess they listened to it about as well as they do to me.
• Wide brimmed, short drinking glasses work as dishes for serving applesauce when one is out of actual bowls & unable to do the dishes.
• A teenage girl could easily be found under the catagory of "Earth's deadliest creatures". The hormonal rage over a simple, "glad you're home" due to reaching out to gently & lovingly pat said girl on shoulder is some Steven King worthy event.
• 16 & 17 yr olds have invented cool, or at least re-invented it to what cool actually is or otta-be. They also know everything there is to know about everything. What they don't know they have no need to know so back off thumb sucker!
• My 3 yr old boy with moppy blonde hair & big blue eyes & sweet rosey cheeks can do something aweful then come to me, laying his head gently on her arm, lovingly hold me ever so lightly & ask, "Mom, me bad boy?" & it is nearly impossible to tell the truthful - yes. "no honey, you're a good boy but it was bad to do.... blah blah blah." After about the millionth time however, my answer is, "Yes, you are a bad boy to do that!!!" go ahead & shoot me, I'm human, who knew?
• My 6 yr old developing a love of photography, grabbing my camera without asking & taking photos can cause problems. When the camera was found again & various pictures of strange things were in the photo review, the ones of my 3 yr old semi-naked son were the hardest to explain. "No officer I'm not into child pornography, but apparently my 6 yr old is" just doesn't seem like a good thing to say.