What Happens When Mom Leaves The House

I really don't hardly ever leave the house. I take my boys to school, I go to the grocery store when I can't get someone else to. Tonight, my husband had to really talk me into going out to a quick bite & a movie with him - I cancelled last night & tried to cancel tonight. I've just been tired, achey etc. So, I humored him & we went out. It was a fairly decent time & I grabbed a couple groceries with him afterward & we came home. I'd say we were gone 4 hours at the absolute most.
We get home & my daughter had a girlfriend over & they left for a bit. My oldest son asked us about the movie, etc then left with a friend for a bit. I get the 3 little boys tucked in, my jammies on & come in to the computer room. I spend a lot of time in here & know it like the back of my hand.
I'm an observant person usually. I'll notice things that nobody else does often times in various settings, but not tonight apparently. My husband comes in to hand me the phone & then as he is standing behind me he says in a rather startled voice, "Oh my God, Where did THAT come from?!" So naturally I turn around. Oh my gosh is right!!!! There, in a tank only slightly larger than it is, sits a GIANT lizzard thing! There is a heat lamp on top of a NOT secure at all looking lid with teensy tiny hooks to hold it down, what appears to be a sweatshirt for the thing to snuggle in/under/plot to over take our home etc & some fake grass with another heat pad underneath, a lone rock & a dish of water. I sheepishly asked my husband what the thing eats & if the lid is on tight, I don't want to have to do a head count of our children in the morning!! Apparently my 7 yr old heard me & told Dad that my teenage-son's friend brought it over. Props to the 17 yr old male for learning his communication skills like a real MAN & NOT saying a word to his mother or anyone else before he left. Luckily (or not depending on how you look at it) I have a prescription for xanax for panic attacks & still have some left!!!! By the way, I type by touch & currently am doing so with both eyes trained behind me, watch for me to whine tomorrow about a stiff neck from keeping an eye on this thing that is also, creepily keeping an eye on me!!!! AAAGGGh
My husband tried to reassure me that if it eats larger stuff we can always combine the hamsters back into 1 cage & keep a constant food source. That wasn't helpful honey, not at all. Did I ever tell you the hamster story? NO, well sit back, it's a doozy.
My darling daughter loves animals & had a hamster when she was younger & loved it, insisted on another hamster for it to have a friend. Within a week we had 21 hamsters & had to find homes or sell them back to the pet store, etc. Keeping this in mind, for xmas she set up her 3 little brothers with just 1 hamster & a fun little cage & exercise ball etc. She was assured by the petstore-dude that boys were seperated from girls & she had a boy hamster. Well, Christmas miracles & virgin births abounded here at our house in December & our BOY hamster gave birth to 5 (thankfully not 20) baby hamsters. 1 got loose & the dog hoovered it up, being a good mouser (my little dog looks like the footstool from Beauty & the Beast movie, she's more like a lazy house cat than a dog, but no hacking up hairballs, its the best of both worlds-unless you are a hamster apparently). Another 1 got beat up by the other hamsters & that was that (voted off the island-not a surviver). Anyway, we seperated mom from the remaining 2 & have kept status quo so far.
Giant Scaly Thing has now shifted his position for a more optimal view of the back of my head. I really hope I don't look tastey!!! Did I mention I normally have sleep problems as it is? Don't look for me to sleep well tonight, in fact I might as well just make the dam* coffee now!!! oh geez.......life is never dull at our house. This is what I get for leaving!!!! Now there's some insight as to why I don't go out much, although I have to say, this is a first....hopefully an only. I'm hoping my son is just babysitting this thing-my husband thinks it is a water dragon. I still want to know what it eats & I'm hoping it's lettuce & non breathing things. ug. wish me luck & plenty of xanax.