When My Appliances Are Smarter Than Me

So, God knocked me off my high-horse in a very funny way last night. He reminded me that humility is a much better friend & trait to have than too much pride. I had just gotten done boasting to a friend how I had managed to successfully cook dinner for my family! Even though it was just cooking frozen food I had remembered to stir things, to time correctly & most of all to plug things in. Just after making this proud comment I non-shalantly picked up the T.V. remote to make a phone call! Nice try, but not quite going to work! Ugh.

And speaking of T.V., how is it that my television is smarter than I am? It remembers to record shows I want to watch even when I totally, & frequently, forget about them. Thank God for that capability!!

For the third time in about a month, my electric dishwasher has decided to go on vacation. While it is still located physically under my kitchen counter, it is refusing to work. The soap goes in, the buttons light up showing which setting I've chosen to wash dishes on but go to push the "on" button & it doesn't work. Last time my husband forgot to call the repair man which I was very distressed about. God forbid that I go back to washing dishes by hand, how barbaric! I have enough crow's feet wrinkles without adding dishpan hands to the list! Then as if an answered prayer, the dishwasher checked back in from it's momentary lapse in productivity & started up - working perfectly even on day old (or two) crusties. Then it happened again over the weekend. The thing was completely full, loaded to perfection, not able to hold even a single more spoon than already inside. My sink was likewise over flowing. I was about to actually break down & get out the dish drainer & scrubby pad when again Heaven-sent deliverance arrived. Again, it started back up & ran, cleaning the dishes beautifully. Now today, it has only been 2 days since it's last vacation & it is "out to lunch" again!!! How is this fair??? Why do my appliances go on more vacations than I do? Where do they go when they check out? Bermuda Triangle? Disney World? What do they do - sit by the pool? I don't get it!!!!! Oh God, now I'm jealous of inanimate objects, my appliances at that! I know this is teaching me something too, maybe to get a life & go on vacation myself? I like that idea! I'm going to stay with that theory of thought!!! Unlike my appliances, when I go on vacation, I am going to take my sorry, in-animate butt with me, an honest to goodness physical as well as mental vacation. Because, we all know I'm on a fairly permanent mental vacation!!!

At least my handy-dandy-(not notebook you Blue's Clues fans with preschoolers, & if you are smiling count yourself among them) -computer has NOT gone on vacation lately & is reliably diligent & available to me! All once again bow to the great Internet & instant-messaging. Now, instead of just stuffing my face when I am unable to sleep in the middle of the night I can connect with people in different time zones & chat away by typing without waking my family. Or, if I am more finger-fumbly & less concerned about my family hearing me & waking up, I can actually talk. How fun. Maybe I'll loose weight!! If so, I will have to write Bill Gates a thank you note.

Well, maybe these insomnia filled 2:00A.M. chat-fests should be counted as my own mini-vacations, they have been enjoyable, culturally enlightening & conveniently priced. If this is true it certainly explains my lowered productivity in the housekeeping department. Darn it anyway, there goes Bill's thank you letter, now I'll have to throw in a request for maid service if I go ahead & send it to him! I'm sure that will go over well-huh, not. Dang it anyway.

So, Dear Readers, until next time, I wish you luck being smarter than your appliances, I hope you hear God, whomever your God or higher power be, when He speaks to you in whatever form He uses to get your attention, I wish you great real vacations, mini vacations & mental vacations, just remember to come back!! Come back & as always, be blessed!