Well, I've been away from writing for a few days & I've missed it, missed you. I honestly don't know how I've been pre-occupied other than the usual. So, here is a bit of the here & now that I've not yet shared with you.
A friend in New York said something so beautiful to me the other day, I asked her if I may quote her & she said it was alright. So here, in thick New York accent I'm told this beautiful pearl of wisdom: "It is amazing, but in our darkest moments...when we can't even see our hands in front of our face, something beautiful & bright shines through..." My cynical opinion had always been that the light at the end of the tunnel was an oncoming train! But, I like to think that my friend is the one who is actually correct in this matter. Let's all hope so at least.
I've been having my morning coffee with a friend in Kazakhstan, via web-cam & Internet calls. It is a nice way to wake up in the morning, although I am telling him good night due to time zones. He prefers strong tea so I am trying to honor a promise to him to cut down, he noticed my coffee cup looked large. I try to explain that in Oregon, we like our coffee 24/7 & merely partaking in 2 cups is not bad at all, but....I realize it is an excuse, so I stop myself. So far I have only learned 2 words of Russian but I will attempt to learn more!!
I am a bit ashamed to admit that my subconscious fears get the best of me! I started visiting with a stranger on-line, instant messaging. My courage was spurred on by having such a possitive experience with the surprise friend mentioned above. I then asked this person their name & where they are from? I find out I am typing to & from with a man from Syria. I was so shocked, I couldn't help but ask, "You don't hate Americans?" Since on my profile it clearly says "Hi from USA..." He said not all of them did & we had a short conversation. We spoke of the high costs of the war for all parties, of jointly wishing for freedom for all people, of the coming election & curiosity over what would come next. Now here is the part I am ashamed of. I have bursitis in my hips, worse on my left. I have to take medicine to fall asleep at all & for some reason, I was sleeping very hard for the first time in a long time. However, I was sleeping soundly on my left side - not good. The pain was aching & stabbing into me but I could not wake enough to roll over. So, my sub-conscience decided to fix things for me. I started dreaming that I was kidnapped by Syrians & Muslims & being tortured for being an American, they were stabbing me in my - you guessed it - left hip. Well, luckily this psychotic interruption was startling enough to wake me up & I rolled over onto my back. However, it was also disturbing enough to keep me from falling back asleep, although I have to say I don't think I've ever awoken, so thankful to be in my own home & in my own bed!! A mixed blessing I suppose. So I am ashamed, ashamed to dream such a thing, ashamed to be nervous having a conversation with this person in Syria, ashamed to wonder if McCarthy days will make a comeback & I will end up in a concentration camp charged with being a terrorist sympathiser or something - worst of all my computer would be seized & I might die from that event alone!!! Yes, I know, I must be under medicated. It's an on-going problem my doctor & I are working on correcting. What can I say, I'm crazy. My New Jersey friend suggested a very appropriate title for turning this into a book as she urges me to do: "Life In a Medicated Mind" Oh, yes, brutally revealing honesty. How humiliating - all just for your amusement Dear Readers, see my loyal devotion to you?! UGH.
If you are a devoted reader to this insanity which is my life, you may remember me explaining a situation before with my 3 yr old & naked cheese requests. This was followed by him thinking he was a bad boy because we did not have chocolate cookies. Well, now his latest theory is that if he is told "No" for anything be it, gummy snacks, ice-cream, playing naked in the front yard, whatever, then I must not love him anymore. Between this & his obsession with water guns I'm worried that I will not have enough money to support his obvious needs for psychiatric therapy of some sort on an ongoing basis & he will end up being a little clock-tower boy. UGH!
In other less insane news, my 7 yr old is learning that these Yugio & Pokemon cards actually cost real money to buy before he trades them. The disappointment in his eyes was astounding at this revelation. Bummer dude, but such is life & I cannot fork out $25.00 a week for the crazy things when we buy 12 gallons of milk to TRY to get through two weeks on. This is nothing compared to trying to keep at least a minimal amount of fuel in the mom-mobile. I need a winning lotto ticket I tell ya!
My niece & her fiance arrive this evening to move in with us, God help 'em! My parrot is screaming, competing with the boys for "loudest of all" house-title. My 3 yr old just got upset at the Fed Ex man for not coming in & playing with him & yelled, "Hey, where you going?!" I should have left the package & him at the door & stolen his truck for a quick get away but alas, my brain just doesn't think up these things fast enough, darn it. My husband is still his same sarcastic self & my daughter is still MIA & my oldest son is excited to be up to 200lbs in weight starting football training camps for his upcoming senior year. The bunny is happily still avoiding the neighborhood Rottweiler & munching dandelions, our furry babies are doing fine & our feathered friends are learning to live outside instead of in & even enjoying occasional swims (the ducks, not the parrot or doves or quail).
I am sure this is enough, no, make that more than enough information for you all for now. I hope I made up for missing a few days earlier. Take care Dear Readers & be blessed!
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