Selective Hearing

It is easy to at first believe that children have the market cornered on selective hearing - or rather - NOT hearing. "Please take out the trash this evening" is invariably answered with "What Mom? You never told me that! I didn't hear you" as we mothers know all too well. "Honey, please remember to pay the water bill on your way home from work" however, can be equally met with a "Huh? When did you tell me that?" answer from a significant other. Husbands have often learned the fine art of delicately & deliberately inserting an interested (if your lucky) sounding "uh-huh" in the pauses of our rambling conversations. All the while they are surfing the net or the zillion-plus channels on the dish, not hearing a word. So, although we'd like to credit our glorious children with the prowess of mastering this skill, I hereby point out, we adults possess it as well.

Sadly, it is not only limited to the male-adult species. Apparently there is a gene or chromosome or nucleus or brain-wave or what-the-f*ck-ever present in us females also. If I'm violating some sort of code & dishonoring my female compatriots forgive me, but I have to be honest. "What, I thought we picked out the wedding ring with a diamond in the center, the big pretty one" or "Weren't we going out to dinner tonight?" OK, these examples sound materialistic so forgive me, I must be feeling neglected & it's transferring through to my writing!! But hopefully, the implication is obvious. How about this one, "what? when did you tell me we were having company for dinner? Can I serve a frozen lasagna?"
I reminded my teen son last night that the Navy wouldn't appreciate selective hearing as a character trait. I don't know if he heard me though.

Come to think of it, I believe this trait exists in animals too. Just a couple days ago I begged my big dog not to puke in the house, yet she did so twice. I've told the birds not to bite but the African Gray just laughs & taunts me with a "Ouch! Don't bite!" mimicking & continues to do so. She then has the nerve to call me in the irritated, whiny, deep voice of my teen son, "Mom!" followed by whistling as one would do for a dog. Charming huh?! Not. My attempts at teaching her to say, "Hi Honey, how was your day?" or "yes dear" are of no avail. Figures she has selective hearing, remember - or weren't you listening/reading?

Well, I suppose I will end my rant there for today. So, listen up!: Hear all the beautiful sounds around you & tune in to the not-so-lovely ones as well, they may be important. Be Blessed Dear Readers & thanks for reading!