When My Appliances Are Smarter Than Me

So, God knocked me off my high-horse in a very funny way last night. He reminded me that humility is a much better friend & trait to have than too much pride. I had just gotten done boasting to a friend how I had managed to successfully cook dinner for my family! Even though it was just cooking frozen food I had remembered to stir things, to time correctly & most of all to plug things in. Just after making this proud comment I non-shalantly picked up the T.V. remote to make a phone call! Nice try, but not quite going to work! Ugh.

And speaking of T.V., how is it that my television is smarter than I am? It remembers to record shows I want to watch even when I totally, & frequently, forget about them. Thank God for that capability!!

For the third time in about a month, my electric dishwasher has decided to go on vacation. While it is still located physically under my kitchen counter, it is refusing to work. The soap goes in, the buttons light up showing which setting I've chosen to wash dishes on but go to push the "on" button & it doesn't work. Last time my husband forgot to call the repair man which I was very distressed about. God forbid that I go back to washing dishes by hand, how barbaric! I have enough crow's feet wrinkles without adding dishpan hands to the list! Then as if an answered prayer, the dishwasher checked back in from it's momentary lapse in productivity & started up - working perfectly even on day old (or two) crusties. Then it happened again over the weekend. The thing was completely full, loaded to perfection, not able to hold even a single more spoon than already inside. My sink was likewise over flowing. I was about to actually break down & get out the dish drainer & scrubby pad when again Heaven-sent deliverance arrived. Again, it started back up & ran, cleaning the dishes beautifully. Now today, it has only been 2 days since it's last vacation & it is "out to lunch" again!!! How is this fair??? Why do my appliances go on more vacations than I do? Where do they go when they check out? Bermuda Triangle? Disney World? What do they do - sit by the pool? I don't get it!!!!! Oh God, now I'm jealous of inanimate objects, my appliances at that! I know this is teaching me something too, maybe to get a life & go on vacation myself? I like that idea! I'm going to stay with that theory of thought!!! Unlike my appliances, when I go on vacation, I am going to take my sorry, in-animate butt with me, an honest to goodness physical as well as mental vacation. Because, we all know I'm on a fairly permanent mental vacation!!!

At least my handy-dandy-(not notebook you Blue's Clues fans with preschoolers, & if you are smiling count yourself among them) -computer has NOT gone on vacation lately & is reliably diligent & available to me! All once again bow to the great Internet & instant-messaging. Now, instead of just stuffing my face when I am unable to sleep in the middle of the night I can connect with people in different time zones & chat away by typing without waking my family. Or, if I am more finger-fumbly & less concerned about my family hearing me & waking up, I can actually talk. How fun. Maybe I'll loose weight!! If so, I will have to write Bill Gates a thank you note.

Well, maybe these insomnia filled 2:00A.M. chat-fests should be counted as my own mini-vacations, they have been enjoyable, culturally enlightening & conveniently priced. If this is true it certainly explains my lowered productivity in the housekeeping department. Darn it anyway, there goes Bill's thank you letter, now I'll have to throw in a request for maid service if I go ahead & send it to him! I'm sure that will go over well-huh, not. Dang it anyway.

So, Dear Readers, until next time, I wish you luck being smarter than your appliances, I hope you hear God, whomever your God or higher power be, when He speaks to you in whatever form He uses to get your attention, I wish you great real vacations, mini vacations & mental vacations, just remember to come back!! Come back & as always, be blessed!

New Jersey Alligator Hors d'orves & Cracker Emergencies

Not only is today set aside here in America for remembering loved ones' sacrifices on behalf of our country, previous soldiers' deaths, but also a time of looking forward. This day has merged together in a rare way of remembrance & gratitude for me. Hopefully it has done so for you as well.

My oldest son is switching bedrooms & while gone on an annual camp get-together this weekend, my husband & I moved his things for him into the newly painted room. He is 17 and considering the military. He has previously been to a West Point Academy presentation & met with various recruiters for different branches of the military. Due to this, his room has many brochures & recruiting items, business cards, key chains, etc. He also has my father's hat. It was my father's hat from the when he was in the army, before there even was an air force. He was a B25 fighter pilot in WWII. His flag was flown today in my home town in a ceremony then placed in the local cemetery with those of the other fallen soldiers. It will be picked up by his brother & mailed to me tomorrow & I will proudly display it in our home with his medals. " I love you Daddy, I miss you & I honor you. I think you must be proud looking down on your oldest grandson as he prepares to forge ahead with college & a military career as well." Past & present merging.

I was on line with a friend today who lives in New Jersey. She is mostly vegetarian & married to a butcher-wouldn't ya know it?! She was appalled to learn that in Oregon many people live on venison (deer & elk meat) some even eat bear occasionally, buffalo, antelope, etc. I however, was equally appalled to learn that many people in her state eat alligators, turtles & eels & snakes! I nearly stepped on a large, brown, stuffed-animal-snake in my kitchen last night & again this morning pre-coffee. Coincidence or fate, merging our lives in some small connected way? I had to leave our instant messaging conversation for a bit because of a cracker emergency here on the home front: The 3 yr old had taken the whole box of crackers, minus the box, clutching the full inner-bag on the couch munching away & refusing to share. I had to explain that yes, I still love him, he's a good boy but needed to share the crackers. This brought many tears & pleas for more & reassurances. Good grief, they're just crackers for Pete's sake. By the way, who the heck is Pete?

Now I'm rambling again in some pointless direction. Just more insight to "Life in a Medicated Mind" I suppose. Otherwise known as: Life in my zoo. The morning chat with the same New Jersey friend was interrupted by an Internet call from Kazakhstan. I traded my pot roast recipe (& banana bread recipe for a Borsch recipe the night before). I was treated today to 2 music files, sharing their taste in music. I was able to get a glimpse of what their currency looks like as well. Sadly I was too broke to show our currency, should have raided the kids' tooth-fairy money but it was pre-coffee & I couldn't think that well. Today took 2 cups of coffee loaded with lots of real sugar followed by a Diet Coke! Ugh oh & yum. These Kazakhstan calls are like the opposite of that horrible movie: "Borat, Cultural Learnngs of Kazakhstan" or whatever the title of the dumb thing is. He has to explain to me how to do computer stuff at times & obviously knows 2 languages while I barely speak 1! This man was thrown from a car which flipped over 3 times at 70 mph & then with no ambulance availability was able to secure transport through co-workers to a hospital for treatment. All ambulance workers - I praise you & appreciate you greatly for the tough job you have & for doing it! How unfortunate that ambulance availability isn't a sure thing in every country, every area. While some things are different for us in different countries, I find that many things are the same & link us together-music, internet, relationships, values, movies, goals. I learned today that Green Cards have a season, like fishing or something! How bizarre isn't it?

Through this instant messaging program I was also fortunate to find a new acquaintance in Nigeria who is also becoming a friend. It is nice to have a way to feel connected to others no matter where in the world they are. I just hope my connecting with these people does not detract from connecting with the ones in physical proximity aka: family & local friends. It is a nice blessing for those of us who do not get out much to be able to converse with others from afar though. My husband told me this morning he will use this instant message program to find his next wife from Kiev after I stress myself to death.

This comment about dying from stress was made after I was in hysterics from my teenage daughter's comments, plans & actions. Thank God for xanax! It has been a de-railed roller coaster down-hill ride I tell you what! I know things will get better & everyone goes through this to a certain extent, all I can tell you is, it definitely makes me want to plan a vacation!!! However, not a vacation to New Jersey, I don't think alligator-hors d' orves could ever be a menu item for me! I remember back to my own unfortunate teen age years-once again, past meets present. Just not in a glorious way to be celebrated.

Well, my medicine is "kickin' in" & typing difficulties are rearing their ugly heads so I suppose medicated-intervention is telling me that this is all for today! Be well dear readers & be happy & be open to new relationships as well as renewing old ones, merge past & present in a meaningful way & my last & lingering instruction to you: be blessed!

Pack-Rat-itis, Snow-Potty & Bathtub Crayons

Shocking events seem to never cease here in the house where "anything's possible"! Today I have come to realize, through my husband's incredible hard work & commitment to completing the job, there is actually real honest to goodness cement on our garage floor, not just more & more layers of stuff. I am a pack rat. I save stupid stuff just in case someone might need it some day. I attach sentimental value to dumb things when the value actually lies within the memory of the people involved in the incident, not the thing. So today, I have much to give to the mission, to the women's crisis center & much has been given to my neighbor in the form of hand me down children's clothes & accessories. It feels good to get things cleaned up & organized & to not just throw away a lot of the items. Don't get me wrong though, there is still a truck-load of items to take to the dump as well.



My doctor appointment yesterday involved acupuncture, something called "interferential" treatment using like 'sonar' waves to go deep into the tissue & also traditional Chinese medicine in the form of a treatment called 'cupping' to help with my bursitis. I had 15 acupuncture needles in & only know this because they were counted at my request upon removal - I couldn't feel them for the most part. Although the appointment wore me out a bit & stress really got the best of me yesterday I feel a lot better. It is nice to do something pro-active for my health that does not involve taking a whole bunch of pills. Yea!

Rather than bore you with current events lately, memories have been popping back in my mind & I'd like to share some of them with you, hopefully they are not as boring as my current life!

The first time I helped my newly divorced step-sister take her twins to the snow & one started to cry "the snow went potty in my pants" because of falling over into it & becoming wet. Now that is charming & I hope I never forget that.

My husband custom built a gorgeous bird cage a few years ago, with lighting, branches for perches, silk plants & a fountain style bird bath. It was incredible living-art with different varieties of finches living there along with button quail. So tranquil & peaceful & entertaining. We quickly learned that button quail startle & when startled they sort of pop up like a piece of pop corn. He had to add egg-crate-foam to the top inside of the cage for what we came to call the "bonk factor". Unfortunately when we moved into the two-story house we now live in, there was no way to get this gorgeous bird cage into the house. He promises he will make a new one. Lately, I've been feeling like the startled quail, without the protective foam for the bonk-factor!

Someone I've newly met called me a hero for having 6 children, I corrected the mis-used adjective from hero to "crazy'. I have heard of people with more children though. I wonder if they also shop at restaurant supply stores, do head-counts entering & leaving places, have rows of shoe-shelves in an entryway closet & no matter how much time is spent matching, still have an overflowing basket of lonely socks looking for their mate?

I was asked what kind of books I like to read & all I could think of was children's books & magazines & catalogs. Maybe in my ancient years I will read a real, grown up book, rather than how-to manuals & rhyming things with great illustrations. Maybe.

Well, I need to clean out our former computer room to make way for my niece & her fiance who will be here on the first. As excited as I am to have them here, I still have no gumption today (or ever it seems) to get the room cleaned out. My darling husband has installed nice shelves in the garage & even ridded the area of cobwebs & most of the spiders, maybe I can relocate things to there? hm.

The last trip hubby made to the store he bought bathtub crayons for the boys. However, I took a long bathtub soak yesterday & noticed how horribly difficult it was to open the package. Not wanting the boys to be frustrated in their excitement to use the crayons (yeah, that's the excuse I'll go with!) I opened them & began writing I love you messages to them & drew a few silly pictures. Making a trip to the bathroom this morning my heart was warmed to be flooded with many drawings & writings from the boys seen due to the shower curtain being pulled back! It was wonderful!! I do not look forward to cleaning them off anytime soon. Luckily, it shouldn't be a problem because I don't clean much.

Well, finger aerobics on this keyboard are getting to be too much so I will end for now. Be Blessed Dear Readers, Whomever your higher power may be, be blessed, and loved!

The Curse Of The Crock Pot & Evolution Theory

So, despite accidentally double medicating yesterday morning I actually was quite energetic & got lots done, for me that is. I was revelling in the glory of regaining a bit of my old self at least. Now, that's not a lot to be excited over mind you, but I'll take whatever little "woo-hoo-drive-the-bus-happy-dance" I can get!!

I squelched my husband's comments over getting use to being a single parent in the evenings by actually staying up, awake & somewhat functioning. I chatted away with him & then stopped, looked at him & said, "I bet you wish I was back hiding under the covers in the bedroom huh?" His voice said,"No, not at all" in his best 'good-husband-speak' however, eyes & body language indicated he was a tad annoyed at being distracted from yet more computer work here at home. This could be due to hunger.

Last Sunday I bought a retro 50's style metal magnet that said with a "June Cleaver" looking type glamor gal holding a cake, "The only reason I have a kitchen is because it came with the house". Now, either this thing is more accurate than I realized or it is cursed, I'm not sure which. For the first time in I don't know how long, I actually was making dinner for my family! Not just quietly mumbling, "Fend for yourselves, there's frozen food & leftovers" - what a change of pace huh?! I know! I was excited too!! At 3:00PM-ish, I took something out & put in the crock pot. By 5:00PM-ish it dawned on me I couldn't yet smell dinner. Boy my allergies sure must be bad for my sense of smell to be that far gone! So I went to check on my fantastic offering of an actual dinner for my beloved family. Yeah, I'm a real winner, miss Freakin' Betty Crocker - not. Rachel Ray would be shaking her finger at me (not that I even hardly know who she is - which I make very apparent). I had forgotten to add a key ingredient & while I did turn the crock pot on, I did NOT check to make sure it was plugged in. You guessed it, it indeed was NOT plugged in. Can you say, "Whoops"? I'm beginning to think the kitchen is just a place with magnetic surfaces so I can hang up notes with phone #s for take out & other vital information.

So for the second time in 3 days I had to admit I was an idiot. First to the preschool/child-care provider about the non-matching shoes, now to my family. Great. However, I have a feeling they may have already suspected as much.

Later as the evening wore on & I continued to be surprisingly awake & interactive, my hunger-ravaged 17 yr old son was combing the fridge & freezer for anything possible to eat. Something came up on television about the whales that got into the Sacramento River by mistake & all the efforts to rescue them. My 17 yr old son made some remark of disgust so I baited him. I asked if he would have the whales die? Wouldn't he want to help them? He smirked & said, "I believe in survival of the fittest, smartest, got to weed out the dumb animals, don't want that in the food chain" or something very similar, I may not have gotten that word for word but you catch his drift? Of course this comes from an incredibly athletically fit A+ student. Biast?

I was just pleasantly interrupted with a "skype" web call from Kazakhstan. I botched it because my speakers didn't work well. We saw each-other, although it was fuzzy, I heard the person a bit but they could not hear me. It was a very surprising morning for me, evening there.

Well, until next time Dear Readers, I hope you have pleasant surprises in your day & weekend & you escape a crock pot / magnet curse & survive evolution! Be Blessed.

Matching Shoes & Laundry Caught Up All in the Same Day!

Well, I have mourned the loss of a relationship I always wanted as a child myself with a mother, my mom died when I was 7, & as a mother with a daughter. My first child I adopted out, I felt unworthy of her, unable to give her all she needed & all I wanted her to have. It nearly killed me to go on living without her but we are reunited & stay in touch. Still, hardly the same. Now, her little sister, my 16 yr old is leaving to go live with her father. It is emotionally crushing but I am coming to terms with it. She has always been Daddy's little girl & I'm thankful she has that relationship, I've always been a tad jealous I guess, I want the mom & daughter bond but maybe that will come later. I hope.

Today my 3 yr old actually had matching shoes. Today I called the appropriate people to have my father's flag held out for me after the holiday ceremony in which it will be flown at the cemetery. Today I actually got laundry caught up, folded & mostly put away. Today I enjoyed the sunshine for a moment or two, went to parent-teacher conferences for 2 boys & got glowing comments & mementos to melt any mom's heart. Today, I also accidentally took my morning medicine twice because I forgot I'd already taken it the 1st time. UGH. Considering I was medicated enough to tranquilize a rather incredibly large horse, I got a lot done! And, did so with no migraine & very little back pain! hm, no, no, I guess it's not a good idea. I think I'm going to have to make a chart or something to check off when i take my medicine. I'm the 98 yr old woman I tell you, all that's missing is my walker, incontinence pads & gray hair. Let's not hope those things follow any time soon. I still want to color my hair for the hell of it, not cause I NEED to!

So, during the parent-teacher conferences there was a book fair going on. My 7 yr old got a Pokemon book ( of course) & my 6 yr old got a Spongebob book (of course) & I got a computer spelling/word game for all of us. As we leave the "Book Fair" my 6 yr old asks, "Now do we go to the carnival?" I had to explain it was a book fair, not a fair with rides like a carnival. Luckily his delight with the book & game kept him from fussing too much over the lack of carnival rides & cotton candy.

Once home my 7 yr old informed me, "Mom, you know we need more food - we're out of cookies!" Good heavens we might starve without cookies in the house don't ya know! Hubby has been given a short grocery list since he has the ATM card (scary thought) & works next to the store. Bless his heart, he's working a side job after his regular job tonight too so who knows when he'll be home! But, then he gets a nice holiday weekend.

I hope all of you have a nice holiday weekend as well. Be Blessed Dear Readers, be blessed.

Lost In 5th Dimension Rubble On a Shakey Wire

This morning I did my usual drill Sargent bit: "get socks 'n' shoes on, brush your teeth, time to go" followed by "go get in the car, is everyone buckled up?" I buckled the 3 yr old & off we went. I dropped the 6 & 7 yr old off at school & took the 3 yr old to preschool/daycare. Then it dawned on me! As I went to unbuckle him & help him out of the car, his shoes! He was wearing a left-tennie on his right foot & a right-sandal on his left foot!!!! No time to go home & correct the matter as I had a Dr appt to go to!!! So, I admit my failure in motherhood to the childcare provider, shake my head & say "At least retrieving his shoes from the shoe bucket will be easy, they'll be the only 2 that don't match anything else!" UGH.

My appointment for therapeutic massage or myofacial release was incredibly helpful. So much tension & pain was released from my neck & head & arms, it was a slice of heaven. I tried to dollop a bit of whip cream on this slice of heaven in the form of a quick nap afterwards at home. My effort was thwarted by the power bill disconnect/collection guy. Darling hubby "forgot" to pay the bill. Luckily I was able to get him on the phone & he paid on-line & gave the reference # to the agent waiting on my door step. Yea, power still on, boo nap not gonna happen, oh well. As I soon gathered my boys up from school I thought how nice it would be to be that carefree again. If only my only concern in life was if I had any chocolate mints in my purse & if it was OK to have a Popsicle after lunch! I learn so much from my children. Yes on both accounts by the way, along with tissue & antibacterial hand gel - the ultimate mom purse. No, the Popsicles weren't in the purse, they were at home in the freezer where they belong. Imagine that!

We unfortunately live in an area where the power & other lines are above ground & the ugly poles & wires are all about. A robin flew near my kitchen window today & landed on the wire making it shake a bit. Somehow this spoke volumes to me in life analysis commentary. My house is it's usual disaster, there are Lego's on the couch, unmatched socks in an overflowing basket staring me in the face, damp size 3T undies on the bathroom floor, dishes piled so high I cannot deny their existence any longer, yet the will to contend with these things is somewhere else-having forgotten to check in with me. I'm a bit lost in a sea of rubble here, all my own fault. Life has consequences which undoubtedly catch up with one sooner or later. I'm reminded of a line uttered in the cult classic movie "Buckaroo Bonsai in the 5Th Dimension" which says, "Just remember, no matter where you go, there you are". I had just found it funny in my youth, now I realize its incredible perception. So, here I am. Where are you?

Be Blessed dear reader, be blessed in your surroundings.

Alka-Seltzer In Sea Gulls & Running Amok

Well, at last check, I am still a slightly cracked lopsided bowl. Barefoot Jim has not captured the wayward Wiley Teenage girl, Marlon Perkins has not narrated a how-to on protecting oneself from a teenager or the care, feeding & training of one in semi-captivity. The house has been slightly more calm but I am also slightly more medicated so I can never be sure if it is my mis-perception or truly the case.

Staying on track with relatively-current events: a while back, a week maybe, I read about a plane carrying 5 skydivers crashed, there were no survivors. Now, I know I'm a sick puppy & I admit I did not bother reading this whole article. However, I found myself chuckling at the headline. If ever there was a missed golden opportunity - that was it. They were skydivers, they had parachutes, why didn't they bail out before the crash? In other somewhat current news, Paris Hilton was/is fairly traumatized by her pending jail term. GOOD! She should be, she should have to own up to her actions & face consequences for heavens sakes!!!! Don't look for me to shed a tear over that one! Big surprise Ana Nicole Smith's diary was about sex, surgery & depression - gee, I'm stunned, who'd have guessed? I certainly didn't expect her to be writing about global warming or starving 3rd world country children. Honestly.

Back to the home front! The move in date for my niece & her fiance is getting closer. I'm excited. I left a note for my wayward teen daughter to be moved back in no later than next Tuesday or else. I'm sure that will go over like alka-seltzer in seagulls but it's an attempt on my part at least. My 7 yr old reminded his 6 yr old brother today that Sissy left the family. That totally broke my heart, how her actions are affecting her little brothers. They will survive, possibly with a nervous tick or two, but they'll survive. UG.

My step-brother & his friend were passing through town & invited me out to breakfast this morning. It was lovely catching up with them & visiting although I tend to become overly excited at real live grown up conversational opportunities & let my mouth run amok. Other wise, it was great. A few awkward but necessary moments when speaking about will/trust/estate issues from my late father & his late mother, I felt quite tacky but we mucked our way through it. He's a great guy, a survivor, a psychologist & has a great sense of humor & a loving personality that shines through even in dark circumstances. We didn't grow up together, he & my other step-siblings were already grown with their own families when my father & their mother got married. It was nice catching up with how people were doing & having long forgotten memories resurface - good ones too - which in themselves are a rarity. Hopefully I didn't come across as too much of a nut!!! Anyway, not much new & exciting to report today but I'd like to wish you a lovely day & evening. Be Blessed, Whomever your higher power be, be blessed dear readers!

A Doozie PayOff For A Lopsided Bowl

My wonderful husband let me sleep in this Sunday morning. I'd taken my medicine later than normal last night so I didn't pop out of bed at my usual early bird time. The scary part is he woke me only 15 minutes before we were to meet his younger brother & our sister-in-law & 2 of their friends for breakfast. Luckily I'm low maintenance, at least in the foo-foo department. I slapped on some clothes & did my best to spackle "morning-face" away, tossed hair in a monster clip & off we went. Hubby dear had gotten the boys ready. Our oldest son had spent the night with friends & we all know about daring daughter, so it was just the 5 of us this morning.

Bless his heart, he tried I tell you. However he didn't notice that 3 yr old had pants on backwards, shoes on wrong feet & mis-matched socks. Oh well, we were once again at the truck stop so we'd fit in. Service was better this time, food was good & it was hot.

Visiting with family & friends was fun too. Our sister-in-law is 4 months pregnant. My brother-in-law's daughter from his first marriage is 6. Her mom is a nurse. Our niece informed her step mom, "you get babies from having sex" then asked "did you have sex with my daddy?" Being completely shocked, her step mom answered, "What?! No." This lead to the next question, "Oh, who'd you have sex with?" Now completely flustered & questioning the whole institution of family she finally answered, "Well, yes I had sex with your daddy, but that's only for married people OK?!" somehow the conversation ended & my sister-in-law's face managed to return from nuclear radiation red to it's normal, pretty complexion.

At one point we made the mistake of asking how their motel/hotel room was. They arrived later in the evening & for some bizarre reason had a difficult time finding an available room. Finally they found a place to stay. Once tucking into bed a glance at the wall revealed very visible blood stains, also found on the lamp shade. My brother in law went to wash the road trip-grime off & wasn't able to even get hot water. I asked if they complained to management about the horrors of their room. In typical, lovable family humor fashion Kiley responded, "Heck no, we saw what happened to the last person that complained! Maybe that's why we got the 10% off coupons for the truck stop."

We enjoyed our breakfast & made it out with no huge embarrassments or problems. My husband had once again lured the boys into good behavior with promises of a gumball or whatever from the quarter machines. It worked. He offered sage parenting advice to his sister-in-law & all other interested parties at the table: 95% of parenting is bribery. Once in the parking lot we went over to see our family member's new boat. The 3 yr old dropped his jawbreaker. I was able to notice this & holler to my husband to retrieve it before said 3 yr old put it back in his mouth. Not in possession of it now, he began to fuss a bit. Now, I've got to say, I've NEVER seen my husband in more of full on father mode until this moment. He stuck the jawbreaker in his mouth to wash it off, spit out debris, asphalt & what not & shook it off then gave it back to 3 yr old. Way to boost those immune systems huh?! I almost lost my breakfast right there & I don't mean dropping my to-go box. Later, little guy dropped it again. This time Dad splurged on an extra quarter & got him a new one.

On the way back home from breakfast I could not help but ask, due to poor memory & stress, what our plan of action was for our daughter- natural consequences & let her live where she wants etc or pull the plug & get the ball rolling in the right direction ourselves. If we do so, it may prompt her to just continue to pull away from us, the other way, while natural consequences may be more harsh than we'd like. We were reminded that we need to be more discreet & not discuss these things when 7 yr old may over hear us. He is already asking questions about where Sissy is. Sad but just part of life. I keep reminding myself we are all just clay on the Potter's wheel, being molded & shaped as God needs & wants us to be. So far I think I'm at the lopsided bowl stage but maybe someday I'll be a beautiful vase. I'm sure I'll be dropped & crack to pieces but actually that's a great analogy for my current circumstances! haha, without the pretty vase part, just a broken lopsided bowl. lol.

Speaking of which, I started crying when I broke a glass while emptying the dishwasher this morning. Husband, being male, was responding with: " It's just a stupid glass, no big deal, why are you crying?" Well, apparently, it isn't the glass that's broken & bothering me, it's our family. Something good comes out of everything - we must be getting set up for a doozie of a payday huh? As I wrote this I was interrupted just receiving a call from a former neighbor & family friend. The mom was at work, calling just to let us know our daughter is at her home doing well. God is great, there was my doozie of a payoff!!!

Be Blessed Dear Readers!

Abuse Victims, The Ghetto & Trained Monkeys

This is a poem I wrote last night inspired by a friend of mine & her daughter. The daughter was a victim of an abuser but there is a ripple effect in the cycle of abuse. She wasn't the only one hurt, her family, friends, teachers, school-mates, it effects everyone. This situation has hit me very hard as well.

Abuse Victims

Mourning cries,
Unsaid goodbyes
To youthful innocence
Due to tragic circumstance.
Unshed tears
Trapped under years
Of fearful silence.
Guilt giving license
To those who do harm.
'Guised by charm
They continue,
We victims their menu.
No more!
We implore.
Face the facts
Of these brutal attacks.
Has no defence attorney
Ever been on bent knee
Imploring mercy
For his own girl or boy?
Stripped of childhood's joy.
How does one sleep at night
Attempting to give predators their right
To walk free among you & me?
Not some monster able to rehabilitate,
Not able to properly legislate
A cruel enough demise
To return the light to their victims' eyes.

-5/18/'07 Written for 'Kenzie, her family & friends

Obviously this has greatly pained my heart & well it should, It should pain every one's heart & our laws should be stricter against child predators & deal with them in a less forgiving way. I'm thinking toss them buck naked slathered in polar bear pheromones on an isolated Arctic tundra somewhere after castrating them with a rusty dull knife. Think we can get congress to pass that one? Yeah, me either. Permanent tattoo of a bulls eye target on them would be good & declare open season, that could be fun! Oh, I'd better stop before I get hate mail.

So, my daughter has decided she doesn't like us & we supposedly don't like her so she's moving out at 16. I'm sure I gave her the impression she's unloved by telling her daily "I love you, have a good day at school, good luck with (whichever sport, or school test or whatever)" I'm sure I was unsupportive by being at her beckon call for transportation, recommending her to family friends for jobs when she was looking for work, by open armed welcoming her & her friends to our home trying to engage in conversation with them before giving them their space. Yes, I'm a horrible mother. Let's not forget the step dad who has raised her the last 11 years, never referring to her as a step daughter, always as his daughter. He jokingly teased her, helped teach her things, supported her with research materials to back up her side of an on-going debate she was having with a teacher. He also has busted his butt to provide for her & the rest of the family. Her brothers who love her & play with her & help her out with things. Yeah, we are a terrible bunch! Thank God she's escaped unscathed before it was too late. Before our "ghetto, white trash house" & family could further embarrass her. Yes, thank God for that.

Today my husband & I are going out of town for a day to get our minds off things & hopefully have a bit of fun window shopping. Just in case that Power ball ticket I bought last night with the diet coke ends up paying off!! Then it will be back to our home town for an event at a local community theater & lounge featuring various restaurants' fare, music, beer & wine gardens. All this fun grown up activity I won't know how to act. I just hope I remember not to announce to the group, "Just a minute, mommy has to go potty I'll be right back, be good" !

Now that our parrot has added to his repertoire, to not just call the children's names or sound like an alarm clock but to also tell them "stop it!" "slow down!" etc. I'm thinking - who needs a human babysitter right? The darn thing even answers the phone. Of course, he is the one ringing, not the real phone & it hasn't learned how to hang up on solicitors without saying, "Love you, talk to you later, buh bye" We will have to work out those kinks I suppose. Think I can teach it how to cook? Probably not, we may have to buy a trained monkey, then I can go on permanent vacation!!!

Be Blessed Dear Readers & Have a Lovely Weekend!

Banana-Bras, Detox & Marlon Perkins

I rushed through the grocery store, just grabbing a few things, no cart or basket even. Suddenly after an odd look from a gentleman I realized the bananas I had cradled in my arm while holding other items in my hands were cupping my boob like some bizarre bra Madonna would wear on stage in a concert. Think the Latin lady with the fruit hat meets Madonna. Somehow I managed to shift my items without dropping anything & made my way to the check out stand, still shaking my head at myself.

My 7 yr old has taken up passionately trading Pokemon & Yugio cards. It's almost a whole other world with foreign currency & laws. Kind of crazy, but interesting. The upside is it helps reinforce his reading skills & he is making choices & decisions, learning value or perceived value, so I guess I can endure the endless boring minutia of it all.

A current regimen of acupuncture, therapeutic massage & physician visits with written prescriptions blended with plans for enrollment in an upcoming Tai Chi (spelling?) class & re-immersion in water aerobics (did you catch the pun?) is my current plan of attack to regain my health. I'm willing to try anything to get better & do all the things I want & need to do, can you tell? Just to be more than a prisoner in my own body or to not see the stairs in my house as "the dark side of the force" to do battle with, would be lovely. So, I am working on it. I am also going to "duck alignment" therapy because, it can never hurt to get one's ducks in a row!

My lovely 16 yr old daughter became irate last night when told that she would not be able to borrow the suburban (my car & the only one that seats all of us) for the weekend. We traded our 12 passenger van to our mechanic to help pay to get the power steering in the truck fixed. So, we are down a vehicle & down to only 1 that seats all of us. She wanted to drive herself 3 hours away to visit her father. I told her it was a possibility & depended on our weekend plans. Turns out we actually have weekend plans for the first time in forever. I offered to drive her 1/2 way to meet her father like we've done in the past. This went over like a fart in church. After many of my daughter's nasty comments of gloom & despair & our family not measuring up to perfection in her eyes I turned to her & said, "If things are so awful here, you can go live with your dad." I'd had enough. Turns out, so had she. She left a note saying I told her to leave so she did. Once she was asleep at a friend's house the parents called me to let me know she was there & fine. Did you realize I had kicked my daughter out? I explained my version of events aka: the truth. It will be interesting to see how she plays her cards & what happens next. I'm thankful that this loving, wonderful, good family was there for her & she feels comfortable there since she doesn't appreciate the home she has. Animal Kingdom keeps coming to my mind. I expect Marlon Perkins to be standing in my living room with a pointer directed at the Wiley Teenager, one of mans deadliest creatures narrating that while they are not about to go extinct they drive many parents to near extinction. Barefoot-Jim chasing one down as he leaps from a jeep to nab a teen in the fast-food line. Now, if only I could borrow that tranquilizing dart gun! hm. I don't know if the little princess made it to school today but speaking of school, we received an automated call from the high school after she left last night. She is scheduled for Saturday school, a morning type of detention for kids to make up for ditching classes. How very interesting that is! Again, "hm". Again, Animal Kingdom comes to mind, this time the trivia fact about some animals eating their young. It all begins to become clear somehow.

So today I woke up with a cold sore, & now you know why. I'm also on day 3 with no diet soda, no soda at all in fact. There needs to be a Betty Ford clinic for caffeine addiction I tell you. I feel like I truly am in detox. Gotta get a fix- I feel a run to the mini mart for a 24 case of diet cola coming on strong!!!! vroom vroom, here I go!

Being one to try to be pro-active about most things in my life, I've decided in light of certain recent (& certain ongoing) events to begin hosting an annual G.A.L.S weekend retreat. G.A.L.S stands for "gathering all lunatics". By mere definition, anyone who performs a non-appreciated job in the trenches without pay, without hazard pay or protective battle gear, aka: anyone who is a mother, should be entitled to come! Bring your own diet soda though! Or regular if you're hard core.

On the bright side, I love my family, I have a decent home even if it looks "ghetto" as my Dolly-girl would say (because of needing new siding & some other improvements). I am so very blessed in many ways. I am also thankful for my friends & readers & your comments which spur me onward. Thank you all. Be Blessed, I know I am.

Prozac Sprinkles In My Coffee & Soap Box Useage Vs Storage

I normally blog in the morning, yet it is evening now. I've had a difficult time writing today. Blue is an appropriate ink color today. Yesterday, by 4:30 I ended up hiding in bed with the covers pulled up, crying inside but no tears were left to shed on the outside. The questions I posed loomed echoing in my brain: "Where's the humanity?" etc. Bunny kisses & bird songs & lilacs are not enough. A couple lone-good deeds are not enough. I cannot escape the re-run in my mind of the tragic beating of the elderly gentleman during the carjacking. The world can be so ugly & cruel at times.

This afternoon my teens were kind & helpful. I'm sure a note from school will arrive in the near future telling of some mis-deed! Sad when I'm suspicious of good behavior! Anyway. My oldest son gave blood today! I am so proud of him. My daughter is on her way to bible study, now that track is over her schedule allows her to resume that. My 7 yr old generously gives hugs & helps his little brothers. My husband spoke with me this morning, more than the auto-pilot conversations we generally have. He validated me, he comforted me, he held me. He showed me on paper how my fears of the soup kitchen line were unfounded. He reminded me to trust in GOD. I told him I do, I try to give things over to God, I pray many times a day, I just sneak back in & take my worries back after I've given them to God. It is bad I know. Logically I know that worrying isn't going to help matters & I should put the energy to more constructive use. Knowing this & being able to pro-actively move forward are 2 very different things however.

A minister in our church is certified for doing temperament testing. If you ever have a chance to do this, I highly recommend it. Many work places do this to see how a person will fit in with their group. My test came back that I was born feeling guilty. It is the way God made me, I feel things are my fault & a need to fix them. I seek approval. It told more too but I won't bore you with it all. I guess this is my excuse for being who I am - I can't help it. So, pro-actively, to help "fix" things I am launching into a new endeavor. This sprang up through an earlier post about red capes. I've decided to form a non-profit organization called The Red Cape Brigade which will help co-ordinate efforts of other agencies in the community, uniting them in their goals rather than working independently. It will also have a "pay-it-forward" type of concept matching a list of Needs to a list of available donations of goods & services. Please wish me luck in this effort. If you would like to become involved, please let me know. I welcome everyone with a kind heart & motivation to back it up.

A therapeutic neck massage helped work out the extreme tightness & knots in my neck & hopefully will alleviate some of the severe headaches I've been having lately as well. Now, if only they could also screw my head on straight to boot! Ah, but then I wouldn't need Prozac sprinkles in my morning coffee would I? Maybe many of us could use a therapeutic massage, but of our soul & our hearts.

I am trying to remain positive, to become more motivated, to see light through the returning, ever looming darkness. Wish me luck dear friends. I wish our nation luck, I wish us hope, I wish us more common decency & humanity. Be blessed & bless others - Pay it forward, small acts of kindness or bigger things if you are able. Thank you. I promise to put my soap-box away soon, well, I'll at least try to. Thanks for baring with me dear readers. Be blessed indeed.

Bunny Kisses, Lilacs & Bird Songs

I saw a couple very disturbing articles of news on the Internet yesterday. A mock-gunman-attack-drill staged poorly, traumatizing 11 yr olds & their families was one story. More disturbing however, was the 98 yr old man being beaten by a carjacker with on-lookers doing nothing! This is sickening to me. I had the misfortune of my husband having free time this morning & turning on the television news before he left for work. There was discussion of this previously mentioned event several times & the video clip played twice. The third time it came on with the full news story I left the room, too choked up to talk, tears in my eyes to where I could hardly see to navigate the stairs outside. How could someone let this happen?! Why are people more than willing to protest everything & sue everyone but not get involved to help an elderly man? Don't speak harshly to a child in public or people will get in your business telling you that the child's psyche will be damaged, but by all means, lets stand around & watch a defenseless senior citizen be beaten. I'm sick, I'm ashamed of what our society & culture has become. Where is the hope? To me, those people who watched are negligent, they are practically accessories in allowing this crime to be committed. Where's the humanity?

On top of all this I received further news yesterday of some of the assault & "grooming" that took place against my friend's daughter, she was only 12. The stress from enduring the sexual assault & trauma caused her to start fires & to pick sores on her scalp that became infected. My friend was given a pamphlet written by jailed sex offenders about how they will gain access to children. I had chills & goosebumps & my stomach in knots hearing this information. By the way, it is important to know that fire-starting is a sign of someone being a victim of sexual abuse. So was the nervous picking, however my friend had no idea why her daughter had sores on her head & her daughter didn't even know she'd done it herself. Again I have to ask, where is the hope? Where is the humanity?

Another friend I spoke with yesterday was working on finding a home for a good 17 yr old boy with a 3.5 GPA & a 20 hr a week job. Why does a good kid end up walking the street looking for a place to sleep? Sadly the possible reasons are too many to count. Where's the hope? Where's the humanity?

The answer is that hope & humanity lie within each one of us. We need to act without fear & do what is morally right. My friend let the boy stay with her overnight & if she hadn't already had a houseful would have kept him longer. Luckily she found placement for him with an organization called Integral Youth Services. The monster that preyed upon my friend's daughter & others is no longer getting away with his sick acts & is being prosecuted. The only reason this even came to light is because one woman took a chance & called another woman to ask questions. Why are we often afraid to communicate with one another? Why is society so worried about being politically correct that we are immobilized? It needs to stop. Get involved! No matter what disability or limitations one faces there is always a way to help. No matter your economic background or standing there is always something that can be done. Maybe as little as thanking the gas station attendant & telling him or her to have a nice day, can be enough to let someone know someone else cares. A phone call or email may save someone from a suicide attempt. Get involved. Know your neighbors, know your community, know your resources, know how to help others or at least where to find help for others. That is the very least any of us can do for one another.

When I did make it down the stairs & blinked the tears from my eyes, was witness to something beautiful. Something God knew I needed to see. Our family bunny rushed over to the side of it's pen to greet our dogs. The big dog & the bunny kissed good-morning. It was so inspiring that these wonderful little creatures of God were loving & kind to one another. If they can be - so can we. The lilacs are blooming, despite abundant allergies their fragrance & beauty is comforting. Birds are singing too. Thank God for these things. Thank God for hope & humanity, even when I have to look to smaller creatures to demonstrate it. Be Blessed Dear Readers & furthermore, please, be a Blessing to Others as well. Thank you for reading.

A Day Only A Mother Could Appreciate

I received 2 lovely hand made cards, each with beautiful sentiments, a school-project coupon book colored & addressed to me, a photo-frame-cube decorated with the finest craft materials a kindergarten class has to offer. There was also a lovely purchased card from my teen son that about made me cry. Then it was off to breakfast.

The poor waitress was obviously inexperienced & overwhelmed. This fact made the whole breakfast process take longer. My food, once received wasn't even hot. We asked for it to be heated up but ended up having to ask for it to be put in a to-go box since everyone was done eating & I still hadn't received my meal back again. Prior to food arriving there were memorable little bits of family conversation that didn't exactly warm my heart but at least got a shock-&-awe effect & occasionally some laughter from me.

There was the flinging of the wadded up straw paper across the table at various times. There was the bouncing on the booth's seat cushion, kicking under the table & noogie's. The reminders of, "Don't pick your nose" "Sit up straight" "Please don't do that" & so on. The parade of men-folk to the bathroom led by my husband, leaving only my teen son behind at the table. Then at one moment of my daughter's frustration since she was sitting on the side with the 3 little ones, her utterance of, "If we were in prison I'd so shank you right now, grrrr" Charming isn't it? Rockwell-Esq? Yes, just lovely. I asked my mature 16 yr old, silverware less daughter not to lick the whip cream off her hot chocolate cup because I thought it was bad manners. She reminded me, "Mom, we're at a truck stop!" Did I remember to put the Xanax in my purse? - no, oh gosh. This only happens once a year so I muddle through. Not only did I muddle, but despite all the craziness, I actually enjoyed it & reveled in the fact that all of us, except my oldest daughter, were here together!

My car was driven through the car wash later to be followed by my children working together to clean out the inside for me. We went to Petco to get a new higher-wattage light bulb for the lizards. I charged out of the car & bee-lined it to the store's bathroom, not feeling well for some reason. My sick cuddly 3 yr old, now better must have passed the germs my way. The bathroom was very simple in grays & white, save for a single picture. It was a picture of a calico cat with a green background, the thing stared straight at the toilet. I couldn't help but think there should have been a litter box in the background of the cat picture, not just green. Anyway, after this we came home. Again I barely made it in the door & to the proper place, feeling ill.

After lying down for a bit freezing I finally felt better. I took my children to the park which today was over-ran by families. It was nice but for various reasons we weren't there long. My 3 yr old sat in my lap & pronounced, "Mom, me really love you". My husband & son did some things in the yard. My kids played & were happy. Everyone did their own thing for dinner so I didn't cook. It was a slice of heaven. A strange slice, not everybody's slice, but a slice just the same. The daughter that wasn't here with me, my oldest, sent me a lovely emailed sentiment which meant the world to me. Bad service, cold food, flu be damned, I had a nice Mothers' day & hope all the other moms out there did as well. Be Blessed readers & have a beautiful week.

Tickets to Ride the Rollercoaster Again & again....

For some reason the bath-foam boob incident has reminded me of another incident about 13 years ago. I suppose because it has something to do with me as a parent realizing my children are forming opinions on sexuality & male-female roles.

This incident happened with my oldest son & his sister who is 15 month & 2 days younger than him. I had foolishly taken comfort in the fact that all must be well with the universe since my lovely children were playing quietly in their room together. Ah, a moment to myself to reflect on perfect parenting & the resulting tranquility. Well, hm, let me bask in the moment by just ever so quietly peeking in on the little cherubs. I opened their shared bedroom door, they were only barely 2 & 3 at the time, so innocent, so perfect, so incapable of ever causing me fret or a heart attack - at least I had thought so until the door opened. I look in & immediately realize my eyeballs may become lodged between the door & the doorjamb since they've now popped completely out of their sockets. This might traumatize my children & I cannot afford therapy for them since I am obviously going to need it for myself. Quick thinking & reference to child rearing books & every article in every woman's magazine I'd ever read remotely close to the subject I've now encountered in my own home flew through my mind. Thankfully, I had also briefly dabbled in theater as a hobby in school. I put on my best stage-face immediately.

By now my children have noticed me observing them so I casually announce myself & slip just inside the doorway. More alarming than the fact that they are buck naked save my son's undies & my daughter's blanket wrapped around her like a shawl, is the fact that my son immediately looks guilty as all get out & jumps backward to sit on his bunk, distancing himself from his sister. My daughter, just stood there completely naive & unaware of any problem or reason for embarrassment whatsoever, something that caused my son to annoyingly shout her name. She still stood there naked & smiling at me with her blankey-shawl. I take a deep breath & calmly ask what they were doing? "Nothing" says my son. My oldest son is now 17 & he is still a lousy liar & in all probability always will be. We remind him that if he is going to do anything remotely close to illegal or immoral & gets caught to just save himself the embarrassment & 'fess up right away. His following this advice on the few occasions he's made bad choices has won him praise for honesty, because they don't know he is actually just hiding the fact that he can't lie worth beans.

"We're playing married" my daughter volunteers. My left hand was still on the door knob but now my clutch is so tight upon it I am literally afraid it might snap off in my hand, I shift my body weight to hide the white-knuckle clench on the poor knob. My right hand is bracing my body against the door frame because to be honest I felt faint. Remember, this was a long time ago, I was a new mother, emphasis on New! Again I muster any theater skills in my repertoire & say plainly & cheerfully, "Oh? Mommy doesn't know how to play that game." I was told that I did but insisted that I did not. By now my knees were buckling so I let myself into the room & sat cross-legged on the floor, was playful with my children & asked if they could (OH GOD!) show me how to play. With a little teasing my son agreed finally. They returned to stand in the center of the room in the positions I had originally encountered them in. They played 1 round of ring around the rosie, sung slowly & sweetly, although fairly naked. My son then plopped down to play with a toy car & looked at me & announced, "Now she has to go cook". Funny, it was just like their daddy & I played merry but rosier. My overwhelming relief washed the color & feeling back into the various affected parts of my body. I laughed & told them something reassuring that I cannot quite remember & left the room.

My daughter's penchant for being naked or in various forms of undress has continued, which could explain why now a teenager with a driver's license I am on so much medication & yet still need more. At 2 years old she loved to chug the contents of her tippy cup & stand on top of her plastic picnic table & take off her clothes & wiggle. To my knowledge, & bare in mind ignorance is bliss & I'm relatively happy, she currently only moons people a little too often. She has flashed a few times & has no qualms about roaming the house in her underwear despite all our objections. Who knows, maybe she'll be a famous stripper some day? Except for the fact that she is a little clumsy, but who knows. Oh, after those remarks I need my medicine! No, she truly is a very capable, beautiful young girl & luckily she is very strong. I warned her recently about being careful going to remote destinations with others, to be sure she could trust the people she was with, the whole drinking - driving - sex - being slipped a drug - be safe lecture that I routinely seem to give to the point of, "Oh God Mom, not the sex talk again" before a word ever comes out. Anyway, this time she laughed & confessed that recently while at the lake with some friends she jokingly & playfully punched a guy once & he blacked out for a couple seconds. That's my girl!!!!! I'm so relieved. My husband calls her our German Olympian. She was pretty upset about not making state competition for shot-put this year & getting 4th at districts but she is only a sophomore & I'm dang proud of her. After all, it's a public display & her clothing is ON. Who loves you Doll?

Tonight my husband & I enjoyed a movie out while my oldest son babysat his little brothers for us. We watched a fun, light-hearted comedy. I love Thai food & asked for take-out pad-Thai noodles with chicken & spring rolls afterward. My husband lovingly obliged my request & off we went. There must have been a prom at one of the schools because there were a few very nicely dressed young people there. We sat waiting for our to-go order. Normally, most of the family owned & operated business is ran by family. Now, I do not know the family lineage or anything but tonight the waiter was Caucasian. A group of teen Hispanic girls giggling, asked how to pronounce one of the dishes they were trying to order. The waiter, God Bless him!, replied in all honesty, "I don't know, I'm white! Just give me the number." Now usually when faced with humor I smile to varying degrees. However, this just got me, I could not help it & burst out laughing uncontrollably and continued to chuckle for the remainder of time it took for our order to be handed to us. Thank goodness it was to go & I could leave & continue laughing without trying to hide it. It reminded me of a segment for Mind of Mencia, with Carlos Mencia!! All that was missing was his trade-mark "deet-te-dee"! By the way, the food was just as incredible as always.

Tomorrow I am looking forward to breakfast out with my entire family. Don't worry, since this is usually an incredibly stressful event for me I have decided to take xanax with me in my purse! I also picked a truck-stop restaurant to feed our large brood. It is pratical in other ways as well - it cannot be that easy to offend truckers! I'm sure we will fit right in & not cause any raised eyebrows or sharp looks from other patrons, & if I am wrong, my little "calgon-take-me-away-pill" is available!!! Wish us luck anyway. Better yet, wish the restaurant a good carpet sweeper. It is on just such occasions that I am reminded that raising a family & being married is NOT a game of ring around the rosies, but more of a white knuckled roller-coaster ride followed by standing in a dusty line for what seems hours in 100* heat for too-sticky cotton-candy & another batch of way-too-expensive tickets to do it all again. Be Blessed Dear Readers!

Bath Foam Boobs & Alarm Clock Parrots

Yesterday morning the parrot went off in perfect alarm clock mimicking & at the correct time I might add. She continued with phone rings & answering & various other conversation bits & pieces only to revert back to alarm clock, as if hitting the snooze button. I told my husband, Loka says it's time to get up. He said she was a half hour early. I then asked if he was going to his newly joined bible study group. He had forgotten about it - but the bird hadn't.

Later in the evening yesterday the boys were in the tub & my husband actually took charge. This was to spare my back stooping over to shampoo 3 little heads. He had bought them 2 cans of bath foam, 1 orange, 1 green. This on top of Spongebob berry scented bubble bath! Apparently my 7 yr old foamed up 2 lumps on his chest & proclaimed, "Look, I have boobs!" then turned to see his father watching him. He then sheepishly wiped them off & said nothing more on the subject. My husband was in hysterics, laughing so hard I'm sure it could be heard by neighbors 2 doors down!

So 2AM seems to be my magic time to be up in solitude in this houseful. I'm almost getting use to it & enjoying the time. Today I am currently feeling well enough that I even made it down stairs to work on some laundry. My family doesn't like wearing dirty clothes, go figure. Some days the stairs in my home feel like electric-charged barbed-wire fencing barricading me in, keeping me prisoner in my own home. Luckily, as if an escapee in "Hogan's Heroes" fashion, I managed a way through for now & can actually attend to the cascading mountains of clothing strewn about the floor near the washer & dryer. My 7 yr old insisted on wearing snow pants yesterday rather than shorts - no matter that weather was in the 70*s! I briefly suggested alternatives then figured, it's his choice & he will deal with consequences of being too hot, so be it. Learning to pick my battles has been a blessed gift to receive. If only I was this laid back with my first batch of kids!

Well, I suppose this is all for now dear readers. Have a fabulous Friday & a wonderful weekend. Happy Mother's day to all Moms! Be Blessed!

My Turn at Being A Human Pin Cushion

Today, with much eagerness I entered a health & wellness office where a few old friends work, one actually owns the place & is a provider there. After filling out oodles of paperwork & getting out of the easiest-to-escape-from chair with much effort, I entered the room.

Relaxing music played softly, a clock ticked slightly too loud but added to the aura of quiet somehow. A very nice, soft spoken, tall man talked with me then planned out his attack! He wanted to be gentle & take it slow & I said, "No, full steam ahead, I can't get worse, go for it!" So he did. My right shoulder was pinned several times with very tiny hair like needles barely noticeable at all. This was to help my left hip pain. More in my hand & feet & ankle area were to help with headaches & neck pain. My neck is much more mobile, less stiff in other words & I am pleased to report that my headache is better too. The hip pain is a tricky thing to gauge since I must be sitting or standing or walking for a period of time for it to hit. So far, not bad. This is all to "loosen up" the pain then I am to have therapeutic massage next week. Yeah, I know, bummer, poor me getting a massage! lol.

I came home from this appointment expecting to meet my 6 yr old off the bus. Now we have the best Kindergarten bus driver in the world & she was out today & warned me ahead of time there would be a substitute. No problem, nothing out of the ordinary going on. I could come home for lunch between doctor appointments then take Mr. Boog to the sitter while I went to the 2nd doctor. Well....problem. He wasn't on the bus!!!! Why? The driver said he didn't know, something about "no note & being walked to a house near the school" You see, we live in a VERY small town. The principal knows each child by 1st & last name, he knows what siblings are home & in school, the teachers are fabulous, it is like a slice of heaven. So, when my 1st grader had a note to walk to childcare after school, they assumed this was what the kindergartner needed too. The wonderful bus driver we normally have buses him there when needed because it's a hair too far for little legs & she & I are too protective to let that happen. Since we had a sub-driver today, the principal took it upon himself to walk my son to childcare. Bless his heart, he thought I'd forgotten a note for this to happen. I'll have to buy some sort of "Manly" flowers for him!!!! So, 1 less ham & cheese sandwich & chocolate milk to make this lunch hour before I'm off again.

You know me too well, I know what you were thinking, "She's always off" yes, you are right! This time I'm off to the "cattle-ranch-clinic" for medication refills. At least despite all its problems the people are nice, return my calls eventually & actually get me in to be seen. This is more than can be said for some places. Small towns have advantages & disadvantages, like anything else I suppose.

Well, I've drank 1/2 a diet pop & not sprung any leaks from the needle holes so I suppose that's yet another good sign. Wish me luck moo-ing my way through the afternoon in the waiting room. Till tomorrow dear readers, be blessed!

Hiding Out

Last night I had to deal with male PMS from my 17 yr old son followed by my husband accusing ME of being irritable! I guess the men folk really do band together. And here I had gone all out & cooked fresh noodles & reheated hubby's spaghetti sauce for dinner for them! What did I get in return, "No offense but I'm kind of tired of spaghetti." I answered, "Fine, no problem, I'm sure you'll find something else you can fix." and I retreated to another room. Gosh, I'd given them a break from corn-dogs, how Betty-flippin'-Crocker-ish do I gotta be here? I know the preservatives in the corn-dogs will keep them alive much longer than any stupid made from scratch thing that I had energy to whip up 20 yrs ago but not now. Yeah, I'm one of those good moms!

My 3 little ones enjoyed playing in a sudden rain shower last evening. If I wasn't so stiff & sore I would have joined them! There's just something magical about a hot day with rain. I looked outside to call the hooligans to dinner & see them dancing & chasing around waving various toys as if doing battle. One child in particular, I won't say which one, I don't want to damage his psyche or get him barred from some future at a potential college, was waving around a giant BBQ fork in a gloved hand with a toy Spider-man in the other hand. He hadn't noticed that somewhere along the way his sister's thong underwear had gotten stuck to the Velcro of one of his shoes & was swinging around with each step he took. It was quite a sight. You'd think by now I'd stop shaking my head & the truth is, I have, it has now become a nod. As in, "Yup, that looks /sounds about right!" Gosh they were loud too.

I asked my husband why it was necessary to either talk down to me or speak in an irritated tone but again that was my perception not his. He saved his own life, we shop at a restaurant supply store often to feed this big family of ours & last time there he got me a big box of dark chocolate candy bars. Do you believe he had the nerve to note that there were only 3 left?! Gee, I wonder why that is?!!! Further fueling my power-house munching of said candy was the witnessing of feeding time for the lizards & skink. Lots of big & baby crickets. Not the black singing ones I grew up with but these, grossly pale, creepy things. The lizards looked like they were in some sort of college fraternity eating contest. It was one of those things that was gross but intriguing enough that I couldn't quite turn away. Finally I left & hid out in my bed eyeballing the room for any bug / spider-creatures then found a way to breathe & divert my attention.

Secretly I took my medicine much too early last night so I could fall asleep & escape all this craziness. It is also a heck of a way to get even & make husband have to actually interact with his family not just mess around on computers or watch TV. Good thing he doesn't read this huh?! The vision of Quasimodo ringing church bells & yelling "sanctuary!" comes to mind! I enjoyed blissful oblivious to all until hubby came to bed & we mumbled a bit of incoherent communication at each other. Then, it happened, a fly-fart in Mexico, as loud as a clap of thunder it was! I jumped, yes, somehow this poor body managed to jump, out of bed landing on both feet. Wide-eyed I went on patrol of the house. Why weren't the dogs barking or howling or anything?! Hm, all quiet on the home front, imagine that. I reveled in the bliss, knowing everyone was safely tucked in their beds -except me. After 3 or so hours up at the computer doing basically nothing I finally felt eyelids begin to get a tad heavy-HOORAY. So, I went back to bed.

Still tired this morning I used my son's departure to preschool as a golden opportunity to recover more sleep. It was lovely. However, hiding out in bed this morning probably will perpetuate the cycle of being up tonight. Oh well, good thing I enjoy napping. Look for my nap t-shirts to be sold on E-Bay soon by the way! Now it is already after 4:00pm today, hm what to fix for dinner? - What's the # for the pizza man again? Hey, it isn't spaghetti or corn-dogs right? Who loves ya? Be Blessed!

This 'N' That

OK, being the freak that I am who obsesses over stupid stuff, I can't stop worrying about an error I made in a previous post. I don't feel like going there & correcting it now without noting it here because everyone who read the post is not going to re-read it for the correction. The "bleary eyed shower" where I grabbed the wrong bottle of stuff & got "lily of the valley body wash" mixed up with Suave's "juicy green apple conditioner" not Suave's "ocean breeze shampoo"! Whew, what a load off, maybe I will sleep tonight! LOL. Yes, I told you, I'm off-beat & medicated, but apparently not well enough medicated! lol. OK, on to today's post!

My neighbor was out with friends at a bar & came home around 1:00AM. My teen daughter was babysitting for her & left. Right after she left a knock came at her door. My neighbor assumed my daughter had forgotten something at her house & opened the door. There, before her stood 9, count 'em 9 police officers. The closest one leaned in & spoke softly to her, "Ma mm, is there anyone in your house that isn't suppose to be here, if you can't talk, blink twice" My neighbor is a fun character with personality up the wazoo. She's standing there with a big question mark on her face & says, "huh?!" The question & instructions are repeated. Her response was then something along the lines of "what the he** are you talking about?!" upon which they asked to come in. 9 police officers thoroughly searched her home & yard for 2 hours between 1:00AM to 3:00AM. Why? She said "Hi!" to a guy that looked vaguely familiar outside a convenience store on her way home from the bar. Let's just lock her up now! Apparently she said hello to this person on her way in, didn't think much about him not being there when she came out. We live in a VERY small town, where 99% of the population looks vaguely familiar, you're sure to have bumped into them somewhere. Well, this particular person seems to have attempted to rob someone at a laundromat next to the convenience store. Someone else then called in to 911 saying they thought they saw the guy get into my neighbor's car! I accused her of wearing "ode to police perfume"! This is even more accurate given the fact that she primarily goes to the bar to sing karaoke & dance & socialize with friends & being a good Samaritan, played designated driver & gave someone a ride home. This person was being looked for by police & she was pulled over for that too - same night, earlier on. Good thing she has a friend in the men in blue. They really got upset when she asked them if they could please turn their radios down when searching her boys' rooms so as not to wake them up. Was she hiding something in there? The interrogation began. Gee whiz. Yet more reasons why I don't usually leave my house!

In other less law-enforcement-laden news, my 6 yr old son asked if he could go to the dollar store with his sand dollar to buy a new toy. I thought that was very charming. I explained it only worked at the beach for seaweed, kelp & starfish.

Last night I was taken back to my very brief side-career as a cocktail waitress. Why brief? OK, I seemed to have a knack for knowing when trouble was brewing, the owners finally keyed in on this but couldn't toss anyone until something actually happened. It was a very busy establishment, the local hot spot for the young crowd & others wanting to hook up with the young crowd or recapture their youth or for whatever other reasons, such as good food & stiff drinks & awesome live bands. I went to take an order at a table of mine & the tip from the previous customer was there, the "gentleman" (please insert heavy sarcasm there) held my tip, waving it in front of me to hand it to me & as I leaned slightly to grab it, he leaned in close to me too. Later I arrived with their drink orders & as I was holding the tray of drinks & reaching to serve 1 nicer guy, the lech guy aka: gentleman-ha ha, grabbed the back of my thigh & ran his hand up to my nether-regions. Not being one to waste perfectly good alcohol I firmly set the tray on the table rather than throw it on him. I then proceeded to grab the guy's shirt by the button area, pull him forward yell at him that I was NOT on the menu thank you very much as I thumped his chest with the hand clutching his shirt. He was laughing a bit shocked so I had no choice but to punch him in the face. I was so angry at this point I stormed off to the walk in deep freeze where I was pacing back & forth waiting to be fired. Instead the manager / owner came in & asked if I was alright. Yes, I was fine. He then reminded me that they had rather large bouncers available to rid us of bad customers & had tossed the men at the table after I decked the one man. I told him, "I can take care of myself" & he replied, "yes, I can see that." All was fine, however, after a few other incidents, rather than become a professional boxer I just quit & started selling Tupperware on the side, it was safer to say the least. While at the bar, I learned of the Silent 86 as a way of dealing with unwanted patrons as well. I also, often heard, "last call". It was this "Last Call" memory that came into play last night when I myself bellowed it. Not to a drunken group of unruly drunken guests but rather to my 3 little boys. Last call for chocolate milk before bed! I was trying to get rid of the whole 'cups of junk in their room to rot or spill & dry on floor in hard to reach places' problem. I was also trying to keep from having a repeat of the previous night's 36 or so trips back out of bed to the kitchen for "one more sip" UGH. Anyway, I guess my cocktail waitress experience finally paid off in real life experience dividends because the "last call" worked fairly well.

The boys were almost late to school yesterday because my 6 yr old who always picks a few flowers / weeds for me picked some wishing weeds. One cannot hurry the decision making process of narrowing down all the wants in the world to a single wish, not when faced with such a smile, twinkling eyes & look of hope & excitement in the eyes. So I waited & we pondered together & then decided what to wish for & blew. One for me & one for him. Then we drove almost too fast to school & made it just in time.

Last night I began questioning the effectiveness of something that has become habit. I often wash medicine down with a swig of diet soda, the caffeine seems to help it go to work a bit quicker than good ole' water. However, using a caffeinated beverage to wash down a sleep aid seems to be possibly counter productive. Hmmmm. Water it is.

I have to wonder about our house hold when I find my top-bunk-dweller curled up on the floor & a bean bag chair with his blanket instead of in his bed. This is followed by having to get the little dog to scoot over on the BED so that I have room for my legs. The big dog sleeps on the couch or floor depending on how hot she gets. We buy lint rollers in bulk at Costco.

How famous do you think I'll need to be before I get kick backs for all these name brands I mention?! LOL. Yeah, I doubt that's gonna happen. Good thing I can usually afford the generics & Suave & coffee & creamer! Well, I suppose that's all for today dear readers. I hope you had fun here & continue to elsewhere throughout your day. Be Blessed.